Building Relationships We Can All Be Proud Of

Wednesday, 3 February 2016


The first trimester of every pregnancy can be very unsettling for most woman (some even last for the entire duration of the pregnancy). It is further aggravated in a situation where the woman works in a demanding environment. During this time (and sometimes for the rest of the 9 months) there are cravings, mood swings and weight gain. Some women spit around, others get never-ending bouts of morning sickness and its attending vomiting, a feeling of laziness, general fatigue and a miasma of grouchy feeling. Name it....they get it.

The least any man can do for his wife is to be patient and have a big heart the size of China to contain it all. There is no need to be upset, rude, irritated or abusive. Clearly you put it all in there. Try and ease the daily workload off her, especially for first timers. Excessive exertion may cost both of you something precious. 

During this period, the sense of taste and smell take on a mind of their own. Some women tend to be sensitive to many smells and some crave for some of the weirdest things. Be firm but gentle in drawing her away from potentially harmful things that may affect the fetus when ingested. Be sensitive to her needs and cut down on things with scents and aroma that she may find nauseating. Help her in the kitchen, both of you should be extra careful when it comes to wet floors, stairways and bathrooms. A slip may cost you. 

Not every woman gets the chance to be pregnant and not every man gets the chance to get his wife in that position. If your wife is in that position, be happy for her and yourself.

Some women lose their glitter and swag; some forever, others for the moment of the pregnancy. Always love her for who or what she is becoming and help her adjust to it. After the period, help her come back to her normal self in terms of weight and shape. There is no need to write her off and make her feel like she is cursed. She is lovely.... it's only pregnancy playing a prank on her.

Help her go through the process. You cannot help her carry the baby (as long as you are not Caithlyn Jenner), but you can help in other ways. Be handy, cut down on your other social (not so needful) activities, research and read around (especially first timers) and build up knowledge. There are so many apps online that you can use to monitor and measure some of the behaviours expected at each stage of the pregnancy. If you can squeeze the time, make her appointment at the doctor's place with her and take in some of the things they will tell her. Some women literally sit in front of the doctor with their minds on some Waakye from the most rundown part of the city. Help her eat right. too much or too little may not help. Help her take her supplements and ensure that she exercises moderately; not watching TV and calling it exercise yet not running from Shiashi to Sakumono and calling it a stroll. 

During the nine months period of pregnancy, the woman, due to all the above personal drama and sometimes more serious complications, may not be in the position to give to the man all that the stallion in him may desire. For some, it is a total shutdown of the SERVER until the bug is finally brought out. That is 9 months of seeing and not being able to BROWSE. The greatest sacrifice a man can make for his wife is the sacrifice of his fidelity and faithfulness during these challenging times. When there is nothing, however, preventing you from having intimate moments with her, please in the name of the wedding vows, shine it! Oh yea, let your boring neighbours redefine their bedroom priorities.

Pregnancy can be a tough area in marriage for some couples. But then... no one says it will be easy; marriage is not always a bed of roses. 

Go out there and be a superman. 

PG Sebastian
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