Building Relationships We Can All Be Proud Of

Friday, 25 October 2013


Yesterday on my way home I was chatting with my friend Onfaya and she asked me, 'So have you Downloaded the BBM unto your phone?' I had totally forgotten about the buzz that BBM was going public on other OS. Clearly after loosing nearly a Billion Dollars in sales in their second quarter performance in tandem with a huge loss in market share to the more adept and aggressive competitors like Samsung, they have finally discovered in a cave somewhere in Antarctica that the world does not revolve around Research In Motion; indeed the world is bigger and RIM with their rather conservative Smartphone and its OS is a part of the complex whole.

So nice and slowly I went to the Samsung App Market and got my BBM. After Downloading it, it took them over 8 hours to send me my PIN... Boys don't learn... Still slow and rigid after all these years. When I woke up this morning, I completed the setup and got my first contact... My wife; the rest followed.

While driving to work I was thinking to myself, 'what a waste of time; why has it taken Blackberry this long to do that very simple thing...opening up and being more adaptive and in tune with the market? Then my grandmother, bless Adwoa Nyarkoa Mercy,  reached out from the abyss of death and gently touched me on the right shoulder and asked, 'is Blackberry the only culprit?'

I thought about the question deeper. But I got nothing.

Then she whispered in a more audible way, 'Don't we all wait till we are at the brink before we change? Don't we all change only after we have suffered some irreparable loss, some catastrophic fate or something that will cost us more than we bargained for before we change?

I'm still thinking about it and I know it makes sense. Of course it makes sense; it is my Granny we talking about, she always made sense.

I know some of you reading this are still fighting with your partners over things you know you should let go, but your ego and pride will not let you; the fear of knowing it could mean you lost the course is too haunting for you to let go. So you are still holding on to past grudges that are eating you up in their slimy toothless mouths when you can just step out and catch the wind of peace.

Someone has been advised time and again to let that man go; to let that woman go so they can free their hands and heart to embrace that which is theirs, yet they do not want to look ahead into the future. They are happy dancing in the mirth of the NOW the bliss and false serendipity that comes with that illicit relationship.

Someone is daily being hounded to loss weight but they think it is an unnecessary bother to go through the hassle...too much a task to cut down on the sugar and the sweets and the spices of this ephemeral patch. Diabetes so what? Is it in my time that Hypertension would stop? Oya, make una dey bring the chofi and the Chibom make we chop. It is hot in the grave.

Everyday the beautiful light of the day rises, every single one of us is faced with the prospect of grabbing that life transforming opportunity... take that course, make that journey, write that book, write that blog, start that business, take that spiritual calling serious, call that willing-to-help individual whose complimentary card you have, visit your folks, give that gift, forgive that person, let go of that grudge, let go of that painful past, let go of that self-destroying lifestyle, walk out of that job...that relationship...that friendship circle... Everyday we wake up...we have these choices to make.

Like Blackberry, every day we procrastinate or play lazy or come up with self righteous a priceless SOMETHING  we could be loosing elsewhere or in the very life we have. We may not see it coming...or we may see it coming but we may see it when we are not in the position to make that instant change. And it might be too late for us to flow with the tide.

Most often, the people who had it all worked out for them to make that move but took it for granted, often end up picking the next available option... and most often it is below what they really wanted... sometimes, it almost a cry and choice of desperation... Like Blackberry, it is like putting one of the their key features on platforms like Android and making it available to everyone...people who don't even know the cost of a Blackberry battery.

Don't delay any further in this bog you find yourself in, you may miss your tide and you may have to wade to the shore, holding on to anything that may seem to want to help, even root-less twigs

PG Sebastian
Copyright 2013.