Helping You Build A Relationship You Can All Be Proud Of

Friday, 6 September 2013


Recently I put up an article called ‘Guy Talk’ and I was told to put up one for ladies.. Well I really don’t know what to say [with a shy face] but I think there are a few things I have noticed with my girls that I think I can touch on.  

A natural lady is always preferred; it says you are in rhythm with nature and have nothing to hide. However, I appreciate that not everyone gets excited with what they see when they look into the mirror, and sometimes feel a tweak here and an alteration there will fix things up. In insurance, when you alter the original content of a Contract, we call it Endorsement. You may want to endorse your appearance to turn a few heads when you pass; great! But please be moderate! It is just a nail extension not talons, Please note. The make ups and the weave on must be moderate. This is reality; do not confuse it with Showbiz and the runways of Rome. 

Not every lady can afford a Brazilian Hair or an artistic make up; that does not mean allow yourself to waste away. Tidy up your hair. When you are busy in the kitchen, do not let it hang loose all over, pull it back and hold it together in a neat ponytail. Keep a regular hair maintenance regime. You may not have the cash or time to be visiting a hair dresser every now and then, which is why Do-It-Yourself is important. My mum had her own hair dryer and rollers and she washed her hair and styled it sometimes at home. That was in the 80s and I still remember it was a Moulinex Hair Dryer. You can try something like that. Please keep your hair neat! Maybe you might also want to keep it Natural and Afro! Cool!

In getting your make-ups, look at your skin tone and get a matching color. How come everyone sees the discontinuity in the color of your face and the rest of your body but you don’t? Is it that you don’t care and you don’t know you look ridiculous? 

Talking about body colors; every skin is beautiful to someone. But again some of you ladies want to pass endorsements on your skin too. You might want to tone the skin a wee bit to even it up, it’s always better than bleaching if you feel your skin does not feel right on you.  A lightly toned skin does not leave nasty dark patches on the knuckles, the ankles and the elbows. Yea I see you looking…. Nasty eh! I need not tell you though that over 'Chemicalizing' the skin in the long term can lead to skin cancer.

Know your skin type and what works for it: if you have overly dry skin, find a remedy for it, if you have the oily skin type, deal with it. If you sweat a lot under the arm, please use Anti-perspirant deo-stick. The Oil content in your skin can influence the choice of body lotion and perfume; find a beautician or a skin specialist to help you. [Click here to read more on skin types]. 

Some of you have chapped lips; it can be remedied, an ordinary lip balm can help. Do not lick it because as the saliva evaporates, it dehydrates the lips further [Click here to see how to care for chapped lips] 

A lady must keep her eyebrows well trimmed. I did not say crop it all off and live a thin line there. Keep it neat and attractive. I know some of you do not like to touch the eyebrow. It is ok if you want it to have its natural line. I hope though that it is not bushy and masculine.
The way you dress as a lady, says a lot about you. We know you want everyone to see the solid well chiseled out legs. But please do not extend it to levels way up the thighs…sometimes up to the very doors of the buttocks! Ah what is that? The Eeeewww-ish part is those who do not care they have stretch marks all over! I mean, it is your body and you can display is as you want, but it’s people’s eyes, do not sore them! Don’t tell me they should not look! They were not looking; you just show up in front of them!!!! [hahahaha] But seriously, cover it up! The cleavage, all these bulging frontage! Your low waist Jeans should come with a blouse long enough to cover your back when you bend over. Some dresses are too revealing. Find undies that do not draw lines when you wear your tight skirts! There is a reason for the expression ‘Private Parts’! Keep it Private! Be decent in your apparel.

Dress to impress your man, not the world. Some of you don’t care how you look when your man comes to visit you, but you spend hours looking for what to wear cus some other dude is coming around. If you can’t give him your best, do not expect it from him. 

There is always a nice way to say what you want to say. Learn it. Know how to get your point across without the drama. You are too frank, too blunt, too straight forward; it is not always the best. As-for-me-I-say-it-as-it-is. Delilah shows us a very deep lesson on getting a man to do your bidding without lifting a finger; entreaties and soft “emotional touches”. Do not repeat your mum’s 1960s mistakes. If you don’t like something he did, you can choose to yell at him, grow cold at him for ages [in both cases he gets upset] or you can swallow your pain, wait for the right moment when the mood is right, and as we say, like joke like joke, tell him how you feel about something he did… he cannot switch off instantly… He will simple listen and like joke like joke make the change; you are not his mum, don’t NAG! Yes he may not keep to his time and his word, but that should not be the first thing to say when he shows up! But even if that is what you want to say so badly, be innovative with it and take charge of your emotions, “Eiii so this my man koraa what should I do with you!? Don’t you feel sorry for your poor wife having to wait for you for an hour before you show up? If we miss this show eeh, hmmm I will wear your boxers with you” It's like a joke, but you would have protested, but I don’t see how a guy will just get upset for saying that. He will be more willing to explain why he is late and apologize than when just growing cold or get angry at him.

Learn to answer your calls by saying, ‘I am with my boyfriend, I will call you back’ rather than ‘I am in the middle of something, let me call you back’. Is your man the ‘Something’?

An intelligent lady is a great companion; she is easy to reason with and she has better reasons for doing the things she does. An intelligent lady easily rises above petty emotions to take up issues with a measure of objectivity.  Open up your heart and mind and learn if you want to go far. What cheap men fear is a well educated and scholastic woman! 

Do not sleep with a man as a preamble to starting a new relationship. Your value automatically drops. The value goes off completely when you are with another man. Do not use sex as a tool for trapping a man. That is how cheap things are sold,” Here, try it, if you like it pay for it” Cheap stuff. An expensive thing sells itself by the brand and the trust it has built. Pay for it and take it away, our promise is that you will not regret the purchase. That is how quality things are sold. Learn. 

Learn to keep your relationships private. Your girlfriend is not your boyfriend’s best friend. Keep an eye on him and your friends. It is easier for him to do damage to you with them than with a total stranger.

A bubbly lady is great to have around and one with a good sense of humor, how priceless. You may not be the sanguine type, but please learn to laugh at a good joke or soon you will see someone laughing at his jokes! 

About the cash; oh yea which lady does not like a guy who spends on her. But which guy will throw out a lady who shows him how to save and invest his money? All men are babies at heart; a good woman simply learns how to train her baby without making him feel like a baby! Teach him how to live and he will be yours for keeps even when he feels like walking away. 

A well grounded woman is a keeper. It could be in the area of spirituality, emotions, finance or intellect; a dumb and simple woman is trouble on two legs! 

I can go on forever, but I think we can work with these in the meantime and we are likely to see some good changes in the sisterhood! 

PG Sebastian
Copyrights 2013