Helping You Build A Relationship You Can All Be Proud Of

Wednesday, 11 September 2013


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The smaller 'mess-ups' in relationships go on to become bigger 'mess-ups' in marriages. I have seen enough terrible marriages to encourage young people to stay in terrible relationships. "Agoro b3 so aa efiri anopa" is an apt adage.

People change; a good person can become a bad person in marriage and a bad person can become a good person in marriage. If you have to choose, which one would you go for as a rational human being? A bad person and hope for an angel later? I don't think so. I have not been in this world for centuries [and I need not be],but I can tell you that it's easier for people to go bad than turn good. So chances are that that rot of a relationship might get worse than better. In other words a bad person is likely to stay bad.

Again if a man or woman who is hoping to settle with you (having not been given the green light yet) can abuse you, lie to you, take you for granted and prey on you [when this is rather the time for them to impress you with their best] then I will need you to be careful.

Marriage is for life. Even when your partner has not offended you, there are times you feel you are tired of them. So you can imagine living with someone who is always in your skin and hair for all the wrong reasons.

Divorces are not caused by termites; majority of people who are divorced will tell you the signs were there even before marriage, they were only believing that marrying the person would change things. You do not gamble with the legal, social and spiritual aspects of marriage. It is a risk indeed, but just as an insurance company will not do business with you when they are certain you will make a claim, so you must be selective and a little bit risk averse when it comes to relationships and people you allow into your life.

People say, 'but when you start being choosy, you might not get anyone ooh, there is no perfect person'. If this argument was sound, why don't people who sing it into marriage sing it and stay married? There is no perfect person, there is no perfect person...... so they get married. A year down the road they are out with all kinds of stories and reasons. If they knew there was no perfect person for which reason they settled for an imperfect person, why did they not stay with the person's imperfections? Where are they going now? To find a perfect person or to get another imperfect person? "Well I know people are not perfect but I was not expecting that kind of imperfection" What kind of imperfection were you expecting? Now you are the arbiter of imperfections? Foolish and ill-thought out cliches destroying life in a vicious cycle of deception!

How many people have had 'PEOPLE' supporting them through a divorce in the truest sense of the word 'support' beyond, 'ooh I am sorry, it will be well'? Yet we follow what PEOPLE say or what we fear (perceive) they might say when we set our no-nonsense standards, and all these fears get us entangled in needless drama.

As for the group called PEOPLE, let me tell you something about them; they are always bored, drama seekers and peddlers of ill-explored opinions. If you harken to their opinions and 'fans', you will jump off a cliff only to hear, before you crash dead in the abyss below, a resounding 'ooooohhhhh....too bad!'

If it stinks, step out; it does not get better. It is a character putrefaction and soon it will frustrate everything in its path. Marriage is for life, if you see signs that it may be otherwise, bail!

Receive grace and strength to throw in the towel. Not all burdens are meant for your back.

PG Sebastian
Copyrights 2013.