Building Relationships We Can All Be Proud Of

Tuesday, 23 July 2013


So I went to this Greek restaurant on the Leopoldstrasse, in Munich, to get something Greek for dinner. I was not comfortable sitting out there to eat for all the reasons you could imagine. It was a very nice open space like most places were; the kind of place I never saw a black man sit or stop in my entire two weeks stay in the Schwabing Area. This area is known to be the Bohemian quarters of Munich, an area supposed to be the one of the most affluent residential areas in Munich (Munich itself being one of the most affluent cities on the planet – Talk of Bayern Munich, BMW, Munich Re etc) with their endless rows of Banks, Designers shops and magnificent buildings. Right in this neighbourhood is the famous English Garden, one of the largest public Parks in the world, supposedly bigger than London’s Hyde Park or New York’s Central Park, with its towering Chinese Tower. It is also popular with students as Munich’s two largest universities are located in nearby Maxvorstadt.

My first experience at the restaurant was not a pleasant one; the waiter, clearly Greek, like the rest of them pretended I spoke Monkenese, and was jolted-ly surprised when I spoke clean English. His first question when I asked for the Menu was, ‘WHAT?’ So I sat down without answering, drawing the attention of another waiter, who literally rushed to the scene and asked if there was a problem. I was all along mindful of the many eyes fastened on me. I smiled and pretended the other waiter spoke in Monkenese, a language yet to be invented and therefore my little or no comprehension of it. So In clear English, I asked for the Menu. He smiled and asked a very ordinary question; a question so ordinary the hidden racial undertow hit me after I answered him. He asked, ‘You will take it away, yes?’ I said sure. He smile and handed me a Menu book.

The PG in me decided to annoy him; I asked for an English Menu book without looking at him, pretending to be browsing on my phone. Clearly, after walking about 70m from my hotel, I was out of coverage area of my free wi-fi connection with an average download speed of 2.1Mbps – We will find time to talk about that later. The waiter had a Mama-mia-negro-got-guts look on his face as he scuttled off and appeared a few seconds later with the Menu.

I quickly went through it and chose something that I could identify with – Boiled Potatoes, Pork something something and the rest was just endless chain of names after names. I was praying that if it was not the will of God for me to eat that food, He should let the waiter tell me it was a wrong choice.  I was in full doubt he would… especially after annoying him. When he came to take the order, he smiled and said it good choice and went away.

As I sat there observing the faces looking at me as they passed by, all I could feel was the silent scream, 'OMG!-what-the-devil-is-a-black-guy-in-jeans-and-tee-shirt doing here?' These were the same eyes that looked at me in wonderment every morning on my way to the office; from their Audis, Porsches, Beamers, Benz, VW and all that you can imagine when you think of the Legendary German Machine. 

And I do not blame them; for the entire period I was there, I met at close range only three black guys. One was a Togolese Shop Attendant in a shop two blocks away from my Hotel on the Hohenzollernstrasse, one was a Ghanaian in an outfit wisdom prompted me against asking where he worked, especially when I was in my Calvin Klein Suit, Diesel Belt, Breitling Wrist Watch, CK One Shock perfume and… who made my shoes? I need to check. My bad. We just bumped into each other on the street I could not resist taking my chances….besides no one looked more Asante-ish than him. The other guy was a Nigerian I went for the seminar with. All the other dark skinned people I saw were Half Castes, or People of Indian stock, probably East Africans [who I don't consider to be of the Negroid stock] or from the many islands in the Indian Ocean. And even for them, they were few. This is Schwabing in Munich in Bavaria, lower part of Germany, very white, small and almost every one could communicate in English.   

In no time, my order was ready and I left leaving behind a tip for a statement – An African can give to the Greeks.  I could feel the many eyes fastened on me as I moved from row to row of whites from all ages and economic backgrounds. 

However, this is not the story I am going to talk about; not for today at least.

What I am going to talk about was an epiphany I had when I went to the same place a few days later. The same routine happened; different waiters, all guys, same dumbness. This time I make sure that their dumbness was not rewarded. I left with my tip firmly tucked away in my pocket; mean me.

I went to my hotel room, ate, and blessed the Lord. Then came the awakening, which was in my line of thinking and something I am passionate about – Marriage and the family.

I went to a restaurant I had no clue what they served. Beyond that, I did not understand the language in which what was being served was described neither could I appreciate the depth of the culinary sophistry in front of me. Moreover, if there was any chance of me making a choice, it was going to be as per how that choice was described in the menu and how it appealed to me. Was the taste in any way a reflection of the name and the description? It was a guess I was making; a risk I was willing to take and pay for. I understood the waiters’ trepidation; this was a place with a particular set of patrons; I was not the usual sort.

There I was trying to play the big boy; trying to say that if anyone could eat there, I could too. I wanted to have that experience. This was not some corner-side so called Greek Restaurant, somewhere in Accra. This was the real thing, owned by the real people, serving the real stuff. I needed to bite on that experience.

Nevertheless, I knew that being awake to the many things onlookers might think, might intimidate me and make me fumble if I sat there to eat. The truth was I felt bit out of place and intimidated. Besides, I wanted to be home and alone and take my time to appreciate the food, whether it would it be mmwwaahh, salty, tasteless or straight up bllluuurrr. I would find out if I took a bite and I wanted to fully express myself when I do, but not in a way that may embarrass me. For me the best place to do it was in my hotel room.

Don’t get me wrong; this was not the first time I had to eat outside; in fact these two occasions were the only times I was actually going to take my food to my room. The reason was simple. This was Germany and if I was going to blend in, I had to eat whatever was placed in front of me. The Greek dish was supposed to be more of a one-off, but to be relished and savoured since it was not going to come every day. Besides, every other place I ate, I ate with a familiar crowd who explained what I was about to eat to me. This place was new to me; the food, the people, the atmosphere.  

And I say this, that was one of the best food I had in Germany, the reason I went for it again.

The epiphany I had was simple: When it comes to the decision to marry, we all act like me and mostly get people treating us the same way the waiters treated me. For most people, once you mention marriage the first question you get is, ‘WHAT?’ Your friends might ask you first if most of them are single. Your family might ask the same question if they are all depending on you, or you have some bigger siblings who are single. They might ask you that question if they do not see the seriousness of a person ready for marriage around you. They will ask you, if your lifestyle is contrary to that of a person everyone expects to marry. Your pastor will ask, ‘WHAT?’ Clearly, your name is not in his tithe register and you do not belong to any wing in the church; in fact they do not even know you in the church. Your boss will frown because that means you cannot be made to stay in the office till 9pm and get you in on weekends as well.

Coming to you, you know that is big decision you have to take. You have no clue what goes into it; you have lost count of the women you dated and the men you let go over trivia. You have heard of this whole business of submission and love and forgiveness and all of them. Seriously? How do you cook all that and make it taste good? Your mum and dad are still living together and you wonder how your daddy is able to cope with that Menu-paused nagging wife of his. And some are wondering if the abuse their mums suffered in their marriages leading to their divorce will not play out in theirs. You have a lot if things running through your head; but you still want to try it.

And do not forget the onlookers; they are also wondering. They are all having their questions playing in their heads, only they cannot vocalise them. They smile to keep up appearance but in their heads they have a whole bunch of WTH???? running wildly.

However, like me, you sit down and ask for what goes into it. Ask your family, about the traditional aspect, ask your pastor, counsellor, an elderly person, a significant other whose marriage excites you, what goes into it. Ask them about the roles of a husband and a wife; get to know what to do and what not to. Find out about the money issue, conflict resolution and communication aspects. Do not just ask about the marriage, find clever ways of presenting your choice to them and let them tell you what they think.

Sometimes, as young as we are, we think we are wise and we know; it is my field, she is my woman, he is the man, I cannot go wrong. Well guess what, this is a Greek Restaurant, and you don’t know Jack. This is marriage, it is a completely new ball game and you do not know jack, so keep calm and be taught. Sometimes we take the decision to marry and settle, before we decide we need better men and women than what we currently have. Ask what makes for a good father and a good mother; what makes for a good spouse in all sense of the word. You simply ask. There is no shame in asking. Let them throw open all that is in the books, and make a choice and hope it is the best.  

Critically, however, after you have made your choice, and you are a few months, weeks to the marriage, you keep the focus and close your mind. You will definitely hear others making their choices and placing their orders and you will see and hear how excited they are about their orders; if you listen to everything you hear, you might change your order a million times. You do not get a better meal by changing your order because someone picked someone different from what you picked. Sometimes we even get the confirmation that our order is a good choice, yet we get distracted by what others have chosen and in the process change our order. If it appeals to you and it looks good enough, especially where you can't tell number 3 from number 8 on the menu book, then by all means, stick with your choice. Do not be swayed by what you see others have. Each one and what appeals to them and each order and its pros and cons.  

Like me, it is a risk we all take. Will the lady be good because she looks and appears good? Will the man be the perfect man for me because someone said he was a perfect choice? Risk. What makes it even more problematic is when we attempt to prove to people that ‘we too we dey’ by living our marriages in the full glare of onlookers. Remember people even think you might not last in it; marriage to them is for some people of certain class and standings not the likes of you. So when you place your order, decide to take it away if you can.

Marriage is an institution for two people – a dyad. With time a child is added to form a triad of a family. Try to keep it private. Keep it private until such time you can confidently open up for the world to take a peep. The first few ‘bites’ might be unsettling; it is salty, it is tasteless, will it give you the mmwwaahh effect or the bllluuuurrrrr effect. Is he good in bed, is she a person to shower with  gifts for her wifely abilities, can you write anything meaningful home regarding his man-of-the-house abilities? And trust me, you do not want someone to see the look on your face when you taste any of these to confirm what they truly taste like. You do not want to be discussing your first night with friends and family whether good or bad. You do not want to be discussing your impression with the father-of-the-house business after the first one month of marriage with your colleagues. Everyone is watching to see whether you will throw up or grimace with the first bite. Do not give them the pleasure.

Take it home, to your room; quietly, privately and experience it. Explore it, build it, build yourself around it, bond with it and accept each other. There will be more time in your marriage to open up to curious eyes; the early part is just not the time. People think they know and everyone feels their opinions count, but eventually it is between your tongue and what is on it. Ultimately, that is what it all comes down to. Do not give people the morbid pleasure of knowing how the first few bites went.

It is your marriage; you have made your choice, go home and savour it. Young man, marry the wife of your youth and be ravished daily with her love and only HER love. Young woman, keep your home and make it a place he would daily come home to and keep adultery far from you.

~PG Sebastian~
Copyrights 2013

Thursday, 18 July 2013


Most often, we find ourselves being hotly pursued by people who want to be a part of our lives. Sometimes we say everything to get these people off our back and we seem to fail. Many of us tend to use our relationships as an excuse and a reason to ward off these people. This is fundamentally wrong. 

Never use your relationship as an excuse to stave off anyone who is pursuing or pestering you. What that conveys to the person is, but for your relationship, you would have given in. If you should meet an importunate person, he or she will then find a reason and a cause to attack your relationship. 

Again, If you tell any man or woman you cannot be with them because of your relationship, what you are invariably telling them is that you agree with them in viewing your relationship as a stumbling block to your joy and happiness; a barrier which is now hindering your drive for true happiness. 

Let anyone who is pestering you appreciate the fact that your decision to be with them or not to be with them is based on the appropriateness or inappropriateness of it, your readiness or otherwise of being in such a relationship and not something based on any Third Party relationship.

Much as this is difficult to conceive, as most people tend to meet people who sweep them off their feet, the truth is, an honest person cannot love two people in an emotional and intimate sense at the same time; you will love one more and the other less. 

If you meet someone you love so much that the only thing that is preventing you from being with them is your relationship, then your perception of your relationship is that of a barrier to your freedom and true joy. It also means it is no more something you willfully want to be in but something you are kept in to prevent you from being with someone else. In that view, it means you love your current partner less. 

If you find yourself in this situation, cut the the new person off or leave your relationship to be with this new person;  you cannot be in between. 

The following tips can help you deal with anyone who is pestering you for a relationship:

  • Do not indulge these people by visiting them and encouraging them to visit you and don't spend time with them.
  • Avoid receiving favours from them; something that makes you morally obliged to show them appreciation or be more receptive to them.
  • Avoid introducing them to your family members and close friends as this gives them legitimacy and a stepping stone to further strengthen their claim to you. How do you feel when someone you want to be with refuses to introduce you to people close to them? You feel unwanted and left out? Sometimes you take it as a sign to forget them? Well that works. 
  • Avoid finding yourself alone with them in public places and at social gatherings. People talk and questions and comments can put ideas into your head, weaken your resolve and strengthen theirs.
  • Do not discuss your relationship with them, especially when you are going through difficult times; that is a recipe for a rapid take over. 
  • Try your best to paint only positive picture about your partner.  
  • Smear your partner on their faces like a warm butter. Give them the, "my boyfriend that and my boyfriend this. My girlfriend said this and she did that and I love that..."stuff; Nothing upsets anyone more than someone you love always talking about their partners.   
  • If any conversation or IM Chat veers off and they start talking about the same old same you are not giving in to, send them a cute BRB with a winking smiley and end the conversation. If it is a phone conversation, tell them there is a call coming through, you will call them back - and remember not to to call them back. Most importantly try not to pick all their calls. If it is a face to face talk, tell them you need to go once the topic changes. But do all these things after you have told them first that they do not stand a chance. Do not run away from them until you have said your NO first.
  • Colleagues are difficult to deal with since you are always with them, which is why you need friends who like to chat on IM. if you find yourself with this pest at lunch or in the same car, bury yourself in your phone. You can even tell your friends to call you so you waste time on some trivia. 

There are no laid down rules on how to get someone off your back and some people can really make life unbearable for you; but if you have to, you must marshal all your resources at getting them off your back. Remember, there are emotions involved here; an innocent person in your life who expects you to love them and be faithful to them, your own emotions and conscience and the people around you who expect you to know better and act right. You may throw caution out of the window and give in to this person, but know you will not be respected and trusted. Who takes you for permanence when anyone who comes around can make you sway in their favour? 

PG Sebastian 
Copyrights 2013

Thursday, 11 July 2013


In an ultimate sense, there is a price tag stuck on every family you marry from. There is a price to pay when you marry from a poor home, a rich home, a prominent family, broken home, family of academics and religious people, a family from a culture/race/ethnicity different from yours. 

It is important you know what the price is or likely to be so you enter with that in mind. For some, it is the price of money you must be willing to pay just to crank the engine, before we even talk of going about (the V8 families ;) my word). For some it is the price of being intellectually up there, being firebrand hot spiritually, being able to cope with different customs including food, traditions, values, language, skin colour stereotypes and general way of life. For some the price is being able to blend into certain class and being able to flow with certain conversation, way of thinking and manners. For some it is the price of fear because everything from that family was earned through the hard way; that no little expenditure is little, and everything that seems average is seen as too much waste. 

The knowledge of this is not to scare you off; it is to help you decide if you have what it takes to pay that price and if you are willing and able to pay that price. Sometimes it helps you simply walk away. 

Black Africans men sometimes marry whites Ladies, but due to cultural differences and individual perception of their worlds around them, marry other African woman in secrecy. People from 'ok' backgrounds [usually men] marry rich people [especially ladies from rich homes] and they complain of the crazy demands, expectations and lifestyles. People from families where both parents are living together marry from broken homes and live in terror of women who do not trust them and men who rain abuse on them. 

I do not know what you want to do with this eye opener, but sit back and look at the family you are going into; look at the price you will pay for becoming a part of the family. Try and see this outside of the spectacles of love and all the emotional stuff and look at the reality of it; are you willing to and can you pay the price? Regardless of how you feel and the faith you carry, remember no one ever went into a marriage with the view to breaking it after a few years; it only broke up, most often, after the things they feared from the onset sprang up to life. 

People are not just as they are; we are a collage of all the experiences we have had and they all influence us. Do not forget it. Some backgrounds and upbringings do not just go away with marriage, advise, fights, prayers etc, so look before you jump.

PG Sebastian 
Copyrights 2013

Monday, 8 July 2013


This is an unedited chat. Everything in it is as it is with all its errors and typos. It is a conversation between a Pastor and an unknown entity and how the pastor died. 

[10:15]Unknown: Hi
[10:15]Rev. Hello
[10:15]Unknown: So quick to answer. Expecting someone?
[10:17]Rev: Who is this?
[10:17]Unknown: Question not answered J
[10:21]Rev: May I please know who I am chatting with?
[10:21]Unknown: Ok let me say you are waiting for her eh? You know who I am referring to don’tcha?
[10:22]Rev: No I don’t
[10:22]Unknown: Oh come on, don’t bullshit me Reverend! Cut the games….
[10:22]Rev: [typing…]
10:22]Unknown: I was looking at you while you passed by her desk…ooppss it was empty. Gosh you shouldda seen you face, Black people don’t turn red…they turn grey…you turned grey
[10:23]Rev: Is this some kind of joke? Who the devil is this? And how did you get my number?
[10:23]Unknown: Ok lemme answer all the three questions shall I? Good.
[10:23]Unknown: Nope I wish it were but it is not a joke. You are having a serious conversation with me
[10:24]Rev: then let’s get serioys
[10:24]Rev: [typing…]
[10:24]Unknown: I am not used to being interrupted Reverend. You want answers or not?
[10:24]Unknown: Good I knew you wanted it.
[10:24]Unknown: Now to your second question
[10:25]Unknown: Who the devil is this? Please you flatter me; I personally do not see myself as being there
[10:25]Unknown: Well I will get there someday ;)
[10:25]Unknown but for now suffice it is to say I am just a mare Demon…no rank, no qualification, bla bla
[10:27]Rev: The Lord Rebuke you!
[10:27]Unknown: We will get to that pretty shortly
[10:27]Unknown: Oh dear, there you go… between the two of us you are to be rebuked
[10:27]Rev: You are mad
[10:28]Unknown: Yes so it would seem.
[10:28]Unknown: And a mad demon is a very very nasty spectre to have I can tell you that for sure
[10:32]Rev: I said the lord rebuke you! What do you want froom mr?
[10:32]Unknown: Will shut your vulgar mouth up!!!!
[10:32]Unknown: Pheww sorry, I didn’t mean to disrespect you; looking at how you greatly esteem yourself… the lord’s battle axe, ready to cut the Fallen One down in halves!
[10:32]Unknown: Bravo!
[10:32]Unknown: And the answer to your last question. How did I get your phone number.
[10:32]Unknown: Easy, this is the Czech Republic, to be more specific, this is part of the former Bohemian Empire, everything is possible
[10:35]Rev: this is some internet fraud or 419, I am sorry you are not getting a dime from me
[10:37]Rev: That I can I assure you
[10:37]Unknown: heheehehe
[10:37]Unknown: Don’t be silly Reverend
[10:37]Unknown: Do you think so little of me? 419? Really?
[10:37]Unknown: But I like your confidence
[10:40]Rev: Yes that is what people like you are noted for, fraud
[10:40]Unknown: you make chatting with you very boring you know that?
[10:40]Unknown, you always introduce a new dimension to the issue when the old one is on the table, not very wise.
[10:40]Unknown: And you have no idea what I am, so please, let us be courteous and economical with our choice of words
[10:40]Unknown: So like I was saying this is Bohemia, and old city with a lot of history, some pleasant, some…well not soo soooo pleasant… the vampire, werewolf, Dracula and all that…
[10:41]]Unknown: But let us say they are all Hollywood stories and let’s kill that.
[10:41]Unknown: But we cannot sweep such a mighty perception under the carpet can we? Nope…
[10:41]Unknown: If I have you number then it means I have it. Somehow some way some form… I have it
[10:42]Unknown: And I had it the same way I had your wife’s picture, a recording of you screwing the receptionist for which reason you looked at her desk and you got upset that she was not there
[10:42]Unknown: Reverend are you there? Rev? Rev?
[10:42]Unknown: Oh come on. This is two men talking. I appreciate the embarrassment  and all, I would have felt the same way if I was the one caught pants down. Unfortunately it was you…ding ding ding…
[10:45]Rev: You are mad!
[10:45]Unknown: I am tempted to think that you have this morbid fixation on this expression, ‘You are mad’
[10:50]Rev: Isn’t it what you are? You show up on my phone and start raving and ranting gibberish and you expect me to think of antting betrer of yoi?
[10:50]Unknown: I will pretend I did not see all that you typed, even though I cannot help but comment on the wanton errors a sign of your fear and panic, which is very normal.
[10:50]Unknown: Are you serious? You are sweating? Please Samsung Galaxy Grand warranty does not cover water water damage if you care to know…. And sweat can cause water damage.
[10:50]Unknown: Please turn to the left side of the Television your discoloured face towel is there
[10:50]Unknown: Omg! I didn’t mean to spook you. Please please! I am not in the room. That I can assure you…I am not
[10:50]Unknown: at least I have not gotten there yet…
[10:51]Unknown: We were talking about the ‘Mad’ expression; and if my little psychology will do any good to me, I will say you have still not gotten over your relative who got mad 11 years ago, three years after you married.
[10:51]Rev: Jesus!!!!
[10:52]Unknown… Thou shall not take the name of the lord in vain… remember?
[10:52]Unknown: Please I do not intend to spook you. I am only trying to say it is normal to be a man
[10:52]Unknown: And I must congratulate you for your fortitude. 7 years after the incarceration of your wife for criminal insanity you stayed without sex! Man! Who could do? Wooow!
[10:52]Unknown: Rev, don’t be a boring we are having a convo hear not me typing off. Please let’s talk
[10:52]Unknown: But I must say, your choice of women is lately becoming unbecoming as they say; leaves much to be desired.
[10:52]Unknown: First you screwed your associate pastor’s wife and her sister…which to me was ok
[10:53]Unknown:Damnit concentrate on the phone and stop looking left and right in your room. I am talking to you and I need your stupid eyes on the bloody phone. Do we have the ground rule set? Cus I don’t want to repeat my bloody self again
[10:55]Unknown: Rev, you make me disrespect you. See what you have done reverend, see what you have done?!!!
[10:55]Unknown: Ok so we were talking about your taste in women. I must admit that Minister’s wife was a good slam dung! Damnit! He has been doing university girls thinking his wife is for him alone… little does he know…right?
[10:58]Rev: What do you want?
[10:58]Unknown: Huh? Me? Want? Nothing. Just a bored all demon looking to have a chat about God, morality, Prayer and the soul…. And you just walked to me. A standing ovation for you
[10:59]Unknown: But before we get there, I like the foreplay; and that is exactly what we are having.
[10:59]Unknown: and your current choice of women is the agendum. They don’t use that English anymore do they? Bloody 21st Century!
[11:00]Unknown: So as time went on, you started wading in the bog, like the pigs, doing anything in Skirt! I wonder why?
[11:00]Unknown: I mean you were doing well with your one off high class…ah…what is the word… well for lack of a better word…high class pinkies…
[11:01]Unknown: Then you started doing sluts and whores and anything that could engineer an orgasm in you!
[11:01]Unknown: Bloody filthy damned soul!!!! And you have the stupid guts to tell the lord to rebuke me? You are twisted!!!!
[11:02]Unknown: But, well [what] am I to judge, I have learnt long time ago to let people please themselves; I do not judge.
[[11:03]Unknown: I love homosexuals, I love… I love armed robber and other violent criminals, I love, adulterers, I love paedophiles, I love ‘em all. The lord said he came for the sick not the healthy; why must I be any different? I am showing love to the sick!!!!!
[11:04] Unknown: Armed Robbers* Typos J
[11:07]Rev: Burn in hell!!! The blood of the Almighty come upon you!
[11:07]Unknown! Oh please cut the sentimental bullshit! Since when did the almighty have blood? You are getting it wrong….
[11:07]Unknown: And from where I stand, you must rather burn in hell. The girl at the counter; the one you slept with….
[11:10]Rev: I did not do anything!
[11:10]Unknown: Thou shall not lie. Is it part of the 10? Not sure? Me neither… hehheehhe
[11:11]Unknown: So I don’t judge you
[11:11]Unknown: Kindly turn to the TV Behind you please, it will turn on immediately you face it. You will see graphic images of you and all the women you have ever slept with. From the latest: the whore at the reception, which is not a whore at all but me. My spirit you know… kindda…
[11:12]Unknown: which, topic, we would come to pretty shortly
[11:13]Unknown: to be followed by the daily sex you have with your secretary, the last of which was a day before you flew in here, right down to the one you had with the wife of the Minister for Interior of your country.
[11:12]Unknown: Then we shall preview all the masturbations you have had for the years your wife went bonkers and was Zapped away for good.
[11:12]Unknown: Everything.
[11:12]Unknown: The phone sex with your choir members all of that.
[11:13]Unknown: All of that. Yep.
[11:13]Unknown: But
[11:13]Unknown: We can spare you all that if you choose not to see the TV. The trick is that once the TV turns on, it will automatically upload everything to…what do you call it?
[11:14]Unknown:  Youtube?
[11:14]Unknown: Yea.
[11:14]Unknown: And who the hell named it that?
[11:14]Unknown: Stupid Americans.
[11:14]Unknown:  And my favourite part is for the next 24 hours, every search Engine would be jammed with these videos. Even if the person types a ‘Comma’, your videos will pop up and automatically start showing.
[11:15]Unknown: I must say the Mossad has not got that technology yet. Every single word you have spoken in your life has been put online in text format, and comma is one of them, because when you speak, you pause, and that is effectively translated into the symbol ‘comma’, which makes it searchable by just writing it down.  
[11:16]Unknown: Crazy Technology I tell you.
[11:16]Unknown: Demons are also hitech innit? We need to keep up with time….and in this case…we seem to have out-walked your time.  
[11:16]Unknown: So reverend, it’s your call. But if you choose to turn and see the TV, I will avenge CAINE in you; you will be the most haunted man to live but no one will kill you!!!!!
[11:20]Unknown: I knew you would let it pass because you know I am correct.
[11:22]Unknown: wait, where are you going Rev?
[11:23]Rev: I am going out for fresh air!
[11:23]Unknown: No rev. I am sorry but you cannot go. The door is locked, you are strapped to your chair
[11:24]Unknown: Really? Rev. it is just a strap. Stop screaming.
[11:24]Unknown: hehehehe aawww reverend you are soo cute screaming
[11:24]Unknown: Omg! You peed on yourself? bloody awesome! Omgish! So you fear something?
[11:25]Unknown: Ok let get on with it.
[11:25]Unknown: In five seconds time someone will knock at your door. Please do not respond, do not open the door and not scream.
[11:26]Unknown: What the Hell? What did I tell you? Oh noooo! You wanted to expose me? Well you heard the knock, you opened and voila! No one was there
[11:30]Unknown: Now whatever it was is in. Please get a candle, because your light will go off. We have come to a very important part of the meeting. Where I sit next to you at the space next to you. Oh please stop being a bitch and get a candle. Kindda romantic…what do you think?
[11:32]Rev: Please.
[11:32]Unknown: What? Why please? you opened the door for me when I told you not to. Do you know how long I have wanted to enter this room?
[11:32]Rev: No
[11:32]Unknown: Yea. I thought as much, you have no clue. But I hate clueless life
[11:32]Unknown, so I will give you a clue: 157 years exactly today. Oh yea
[11:33]Rev: WhAT?
[11:33]Unknown: Yea, long family history. Why did you choose this place?
[11:33]Unknown: Hold on, lemme guess, historical? Yes and history you will get.
[11:34]Unknown: Kindly bend to your right
[11:34]Unknown: and please take care because the strap is sharp at that end, you can cut your arm
[11:35]Unknown: OoWW! What the b….
[11:35]Unknown: I told you to be bloody careful, now the lights are blinking, Please, light the candle in front of you; Sorry I forgot you were tied up. In the exigency of the situation I decided to get one for you… the match is behind the stand. There.
[11:36]Unknown: Please stop sobbing!!!!! Be a man for once! You cry when you are in between a woman’s thighs and you cry when you are tied? Seriously? Please!
[11:36]Unknown: Ok look behind the drawer there is a blackberry phone with the light illuminating….
[11:37]Unknown: HAHHAHAHAHAHA oh my!!! You shouldda seen your face, you looked like you just saw a ghost!!! OMG. It is me chatting with you from the black berry. No big deal!
[11:37]Unknown: IKR? ghosts, demons and bodiless chats
[11:37]Unknown: heheheh spooky…
[11:37]Unknown: Now the lights will go off
[11:37]Unknown: 3
[11:38]Unknown: There!!!! Cozy isn’t? Good. I am rubbing my hands together cus it is sooo warm….
[11:39]Unknown: Chinese I know, Arabic I know, Ewe I know – Bloody guys speak it in Africa – What you are speaking is no language…. Saaawwwrrryyyy…
[11:40] Unknown: Will you stop praying in tongues? Please Yours is fake… that I can tell you.
[11:40]Unknown: Surprise surprise…
[11:41]Unknown: Let me tell you a little family story…
[11:42]Rev: Please don’t hurt me, I am sorry for my sins
[11:42]Unknown: Please I am not God, I don’t hurt people for their sins, I told you. I am a big fan of sinners
[11:43]Unknown: And stop whining, you horny dog!
[11:43]Unknown: Please the room temperature is making the AC feel like switched off. I know the temperature where I am coming from is pretty hot… my bad. But I guess we can manage.
[11:44]Unknown: that is if you can
[11:44]Unknown: SOOOO yea…we were going to talk about my family story.
[11:44]Unknown: Gosh I love family stories! Pretty pretty aristocratic!
[11:45]Unknown: you will love it too, I assure you.
[11:45]Unknown: So I come from the a very rich and powerful family that dates back to [11:46]Constantinople. Long long  long years back. This town was owned in part by my ancestors; we were the Lords. Many a times did the serfs revolt, but we crushed them, generations down to my time.
[11:47]Unknown: I always loved them, I had a heart for them and I wanted to help them.
[11:47]Unknown: Oh yea I did: shorter working hours, improved conditions, ability to own lands and marry and be free after a specified years of servitude. Bla bla bla
[11:47]Unknown: Long story short, a slave will always be a slave
[11:47]Unknown: They hated me, hated me so bad.
[11:47]Unknown but I did not know this. Will you please stop looking on the blackberry and concentrate on your Samsung? Everything I am typing on my phone is appearing on yours. Helloooo!
[11:48]Unknown: So one day the murderous villagers led by one Clemenscu sneaked into this fortress, which because of my activities had been abandoned by my family since the end of the 1st World war, until some rich city guy came to buy it and turn it into a hotel, and murdered me in cold blood.
[11:49]Unknown: I was lying exactly where you have been lying since you came in here…. I always stand at the windows looking at you and wondering how I could come to you…come in maybe…. Just for a second….just to lie down in my bed and have a moment rest from all the wandering and suffering
[11:50]Unknown: Rev, do you know why they gave you this room?
[11:50]Unknown: I mean you don’t have to type, I am here, just speak….
[11:50]Unknown: I cannot afford to speak; indeed you are unworthy of hearing my voice….
[11:50]Unknown: I always try to speak, but it is the scream of my dying agony that comes out
[11:50]Unknown: And you die after hearing it.  Sorry
[11:50]Unknown: They gave you this room for the only reason that you are the only person who can sleep here, like all reverend ministers before you who travelled this route. That is why it is called the Minister’s Crib. For the period that you are here, there is a protection over the whole place.
[11:51]Unknown: When the room is vacant, they sprinkle frankincense and keep holy water at all the potential entrance points . Bloody bastard, tryna keep me away from my own room. Can you imagine?
[11:51]Unknown: Then you came by
[11:51]Unknown: All nice and holy
[11:51]Unknown: I was waiting, like I have been waiting all my dead life in case you can cut me a shard of time and space to sneak in. 
[11:51]Unknown: Don’t cry Rev, we are about ending.
[11:52]Unknown: the end is the juiciest part. You will see very soon
[11:52]Unknown: I watched you pray the first night. That I must say really infuriated me. The storm that night was my fury over Prague and my blood which is upon her hands. And I wondered why He still loved you despite your sins… lemme give you a clue why…you always acknowledge you are a sinner and even while you were in between a woman’s thigh, your guilt kept you praying… your spirit was willing but your flesh was weak. Which is why very soon, I will burn your flesh in Hell. You remember what He said about going to heaven deformed than going to Hell in whole? We will experiment it tonight…. If time permits
[11:53]Unknown: But it was not your prayer that saved you.
[11:53]Unknown: you read a Particular scripture, which common sense is trying to prevent me from revealing
[11:53]Unknown: That, even Satan is scared of.
[11:53]Unknown: So I did a background check and voila! I found what I needed
[11:53]Unknown: For lack of a better word, pardon my Spanish, PINKY!!!
[11:54]Unknown: So I kindda got the receptionist to run off with some stupid American rock freak for a weak while I made my hard butts available to you. I knew you couldn’t tell the difference. Good disguise huh?
[11:55]Unknown: And well, you took it as much as you could…and each night I made sure you got tired, sank deeper and well to cut a long story short, the protection you have been enjoying ended.
[11:55]Unknown: Oppss…. Naky Naked!!!!!!  Ding ding ding!
Unknown! Poooowwww! HAHAHHA see, I am a funKY Ghost if you get to know me better. I know whatsup
[11:55]Unknown: But I odnt know if you have that luxry of acquaintance. I am so excited I am making mistakes typing. Hehehhehe
[11:55]Unknown: You remember the scripture that says watch and pray?
[11:55]Unknown: I bet you forgot it! Well your
[11:55]Unknown: hehehehe
[11:56]Unknown: Oh come on REV. Iit is just a small death!
[11:56]Unknown: Everybody dies? Hahahahah lolrotflollola
[11:56]Unknown: Some stupid death; Don’t worry; it will be over before you knoqw I have started it.
[11:56]Unknown: Shut the gadammn hell up!!!!! Reverend! You brought this upon your miserable life!!!!
[11:57]Unknown: You conscience told you to leave the skirts alone, but you wont listen; seen? Your fault reverend, not mine!
[11:57]Unknown: Your Conscience*

[My God will save me] The Reverend said

[11:58]Unknown: Seriously? I thought you lost your voice. Well About the salvation part…well let say if you can repent quickly enough before I take over your body and soul; which I must tell you will be very fast!
[11:58]Unknown: Oh don’t cry…. Die like a man. Die like I died! I died in my sleep…. You can try that…less pain, no struggles….you wake up dead…and you look down on your lifeless body and wonder wth?
[11:58]Unknown: COOOLLLLLL! I am soo excited.

[11:58]Unknown: Ok let’s get to it I cant wait to lie on this bed. Lemme tell you a few things before we commence on the procedure shall we?
[11:58]Unknown: you will feel your temperature rise very high and fast, you will feel giddy and weak. Your face will feel like tearing apart; and if you had the luxury of a mirror, you will see yourself assuming a face other than yours.
[11:59]Unknown: you will fell yourself speaking a new language, thinking differently seeing differently behaving differently… all will happen in a swift lightning manner you wont even have the time to analyse….

[To what end are you doing this?] The Minister asked the void in front of him

[11:59]Unknown: To live and to walk the length and breadth of the earth and enjoy the things you enjoy
[11:59]Unknown: Oh I lied about why I was killed, I slept with Clemenscu’s wife…. Stupid poor aristocrat married to a powerful woman. She knew it was a mistake but she was married. So Clemenscu kept the ring I kept the pinky. Division of labour I called it.
[11:59]Unknown: And when I saw you, I knew we were connected. We loved the same thing….Pinky

[11:59]Unknown: Please lemme round it up with an advice before me and you become one. Whenever you go to any place; hotel, new house, and space you will rest, pray before you settle there…. You do not know what lived there, what lives there and has been down there….

We simply hover around…looking for vessels… if we find it….we settle in… you let down your guard… I got my death-lifelong desire.
[11:59]Unknown: I know that word is silly. My own coining….see I told you I could be funky…

[11:59]Unknown: Shall we? Oh you can scream all loud…it will be your last and afterwards I will buy this hotel and get my room back. Then I get to paaaarrrrrrtttttteeeyyyyyy

[00:00] Unknown: hmmm Ready????

We do not wrestle against Flesh and Blood, but spiritual wickedness in high places. Therefore watch and pray; your adversary is running back and forth the face of the earth looking for whom he may devour. He comes to steal, to kill and to destroy, but do not give him a place in your life. 

PG Sebastian
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