Helping You Build A Relationship You Can All Be Proud Of

Friday, 31 May 2013


My dear ladies, be strong and stop falling for the deception that there is some biological clock ticking somewhere in your body. Marriage or being with a man is not just about beating this haunting tic toc-king clock. 

Yes. There might be something like that. But then there is also someone somewhere...a lady who married a big loser who lied about who he truly was and trapped the woman. There is someone who has been married and for years is childless. There is someone who married and walked out overnight. There is someone who has given birth to a child with complicated medical condition. There is someone who will preside over countless miscarriages. A lady is crying because her husband is killing her with his constant nagging threat of divorce because he wants a boy child. There are women who are dying under funny circumstances in childbirth.

Can I continue? I am not glorifying any of these sad situations; but ask any of the ladies going through these if they had an iota of knowledge of the hard times ahead of them. Ask them if they would not have preferred being single than being married. In fact some prove it through divorces. 

Do you remember Sarah and the Hagar saga that put Uncle Abe in the middle? Maybe the course of world history would have been different but for the decision of a fretting woman. 

Relax. Seriously. I know how it feels like to be called another man's own. To carry his name.... aaaahh Mrs Odeneho Sikawofie Winful; To get out of your car, roll your car keys and brandish that ruby studded platinum ring. I know... I have seen the anxiety in the eyes of a 36-year old woman who is praying for a child. I have seen the cost running across the face of the earth looking for someone who can make the magic happen... But then marriage is not the solution. A man is not the solution. No man is a solution. Yes they may be the potential conduit God can use. But there are some good number of married women who are more lonely, destitute and miserable than singles. 

There are no guarantees. Do not push it and do not absorb the pressure. Shake it off. Don't settle for any man because you think he can take your shame away. Get busy while you wait. There is no shame in being single. Keep calm and keep your head screwed on well. Pray and don't lose your focus and objectivity. One day he will pop up and when he does, your age won't matter. 

And you men who are heckling and allowing your family members to do same to your wives, please be men enough to cover up for them. What were you thinking reciting those vows. I bet after a thorough investigation we might even find out you are the problem. 

It is not worth it really. Sometimes the wait can be the best moment of your life. Relish it. Don't fret it off. 

~ PG Sebastian~