Building Relationships We Can All Be Proud Of

Sunday, 4 November 2012


It is getting very worrying the way young people who are supposed to be in serious relationships [and sometimes marriages] are living and sustaining these relationships through chat clients like Whatsapp, BBM and Facebook chat. Seriously, we need to get a wee bit serious with the important things in life; like our love lives. How on earth can you do it all in letters and emoticons and abbreviations? 
Your partner wants to hear it in your voice when you tell them you love them. When they offend you and apologize, they want to see forgiveness on your face via Skype or something if distance is your challenge, not a simple 'k' or 'ayt no p'. Who builds a future with stuff like that?

What is with the LOL? Is that all she gets for being humorous? She wants to hear it in your voice, bro, in the pauses and breaks, in your chuckles and straight up rolling on the floor laughing out loud. He doesn't want to hear 'network issues' when you pause the chat; for all he knows you are multi-tasking or worse, multi-chatting when it is supposed to be a very personal moment for the two of you.

How on earth is a serious relationship sustained when for 72 hours a lady or a guy can tell you they have not spoken with their partner and there is nothing wrong with it; they are okay with the chats. There is that lady in his apartment who gives a proper laughter to his jokes; who knows the extent of whatever is bothering him by just hearing his voice. It is not an emoticon business, it is not charlie-am-not-well chatting business... it is when-you-haven't-told-me-but-I-can-straight-up-pick-it-from-your-voice-that-something-is-wrong business!

How much can you learn from a person by just chatting with them? The I-miss-you and the I-love-you and the we-need-to-talk must come with a voice. It is bad enough that you can't see each other often; but for your own good get off the chats! 
How much does it cost to buy a call credit to make that call. I am not talking about 30 mins call. I am talking about hearing their voice. 15Minutes every morning, 15 every evening on the average will help a great deal. Sometimes you might have to stay a little longer, sometimes you might make it shorter, but how much will it cost you really? After you have spoken with them, you can choose to make the rest a chat business. 
Besides, there is a plethora of VOIP apps like Tango, Viber and the rest... And it cost only your data; a lot cheaper then the unnecessary videos you stream on YouTube.   

So in the end two people come to stay together as a husband and wife and they realize they are still strangers. They flow better with other people; some other guy in the office or some other lady from somewhere but not with their partners! They flow better when they get behind phone keypad console but not face-to-face with each other. They realise that all the I-love-you were just mechanical; there was no life in them. They realise that when they say they are sorry they still keep a wicked frown on their faces and murmur all day. When they say goodnight, it is just to get off the chat and start another chat with someone else! So people come together and they realise the letters and emoticons did not mean anything! So people come together and they realize, if they had spend a little bit of time and money to talk on phone, they might not have even gone on to marry.

Please let us give meaning to this thing called love, relationship and marriage; we cannot take the life out of it. People live in the same house, sleeping on the same bed and still manage to live a lie, and you think the few, opaque chats are safe and enough an evidence of love, think again. True love makes meaningful sacrifice and I am telling you, do not settle for letters and symbols; somethings are best kept old fashioned.

If you are a culprit, please it cost nothing to call and say good morning, how was your sleep and all that...for just a few minutes. And the same at the night. And if you are a victim, the next time they pop-up online to chat.... text this back... WE NEED TO TALK...VOICE.

~PG Sebastian~
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