Building Relationships We Can All Be Proud Of

Tuesday, 31 January 2012


I pulled up by this Dodge Durango at a petrol filling station mart. A cute lady who looked every bit 'twentyish' took in the sweet nothings coming from the driver.... They didn't pay any attention to me because I was on the phone and looked like any other guy minding his business.

The driver, looked every bit in married with at least a kid. He had that father-scent on him....

After a while the lady gave the driver a fleeting kiss on his lips, got out of the SUV and hopped into a taxi that had crawled by and disappeared into the night. Guess what I saw as I returned my gaze on Mr. Durango... He was sliding on his wedding ring.

I stepped out of my car and entered the mart to pick a few things. Just as I was entering my car after my brief pick-ups, a taxi pulled up next to the Dodge Durango. An excited little boy jumped out, 'Daddyyy' he shout and rushed to his dad...the man in the Durango. He had seen the boy getting out of the taxi and had also stepped out and was waiting for his son. He carried him with the joy of a great father. 

A very pretty but modest looking lady followed the kid. She kissed the man on the same lips the other lady had kissed.

'Have you been here for long?' she asked apologetically.

'Nah, just pulled in'

'You look tired baby' she observed.

'Yea... Meeting was a marathon'

So I asked myself...marathon meeting with the other girl or there was an earlier marathon meeting for real; because I could swear the 'twentyish' lady looked like she just ran from Cairo to Cape Town non-stop... her hair and her dressing... More like someone who was literally dragged out of bed.  

They pulled out of the filling station and disappeared into the night; in the opposite direction the 'twentyish' girl had taken. 

I felt the lady [the wife] might...just might want a showdown tonight...just to feel like a real woman after a long stressful day. But the man will come up with excuses...meeting fatigue... Tiredness... 'Baby am not in the mood...'

Three months will pass and lawfully married couples are sexually starving. Meanwhile one party gets to have it every afternoon and before they get home after work while the other party keeps crying and wondering what they did wrong...

There is a line in the wedding vow which says, 'AND FORSAKING ALL OTHERS...Can people marry and stay faithful? Can we make that choice and forsake all others? Tonight spend a minute on your knees for all unfaithful husbands... You might never know; you might bring a familiar dog home....

PG Sebastian 
Copyrights 2012

Friday, 6 January 2012


And these are the generation of men and women to avoid:

Those who tell you it’s over yet keep their foot in the doorway so the door is not completely shut.

When you are about forgetting about them, their calls start coming thru… for an entire week or two… saying sweet things and making you think they are in for you… they come, take something from you and run off… you could be married or single…

They suddenly start visiting when they are lonely and where they are is bleak; sounding all apologetic and criticizing their current partners and accepting the blame for the break up…then they take… and run off… 
They try…try very hard to keep that foot in the doorway so the entrance is always kept ajar. Their texts start dropping just when another person shows up in your life. Then you get confused, you mess up with the new person in hope that the old one is coming back… they come… take… and run off.

That ex of yours, that guy, that lady you had the one night stand with…that someone’s husband… they will never let you be… they will never let you know the joy of being with a person who makes you their all….

They hold you to the place they left you while they go looking; and until they are completely satisfied to the point where anything more will make them vomit, they will never let you be… they keep their foot in the door way…once in a while…they pop up…take and run off … leaving you hanging…

These are the generation of people to avoid…

So the next time they text or call or visit… clear your head…and let these words go straight to them:
Abrantse? Ewura? ADZ3N?


P.G. Sebastian 2012

All Rights Reserved 

Thursday, 5 January 2012


 As the world faced a cleansing deluge, Noah was commissioned to build an ark that was to contain the essentials needed for life to continue after the floods, while the antediluvian world got wiped out.

In Noah’s ark were many different kinds of creatures. Some were small and others were big, there were the ugly ones and beautiful ones, the wild and the tamed, Well-mannered and ill-mannered. Some of them were sworn enemies, while others, by their nature, were preys to others. But they were united in the ark by one purpose; to save themselves. 

There were times the ugly monkey got annoying with his ugly smiles; the mouse got uncomfortable with the cat's undue friendliness. I am sure the cat hated the hyena for his choice of meat and the dog loathed the wolf because people feared the wolf more. Oh how the elephant wished it could fly…Why are the birds roosting up there and crapping down! I mean it was a total chaos in there.

Occasionally father Noah would be dragged out of his sleep to a chaotic scene; the hawk circling the coop of the hen and the lion smiling menacingly at the sheep…  

There were times The Zebra had to change its sleeping place because some dirty animal was getting unnecessarily close. The lazy python had to keep wake all night because it was afraid the ants might crawl over it. And what is with the giraffe and the long neck?

But no matter how scary things got; their differences and prejudices and hatred for each other, it was safer in the ark than it was outside. Out there, people were dying and the world was being washed away.

We all have our differences in life; in your church not everyone might look and behave and perceive the world like you do. You are unique and so is the other person. In your relationship your partner is not you. They were born on a different day, grew up under different set of socialization, they have different temperament and are of different sex. In your work place, people are different, motives differ and intentions are not necessarily in line with the one you carry around. Your community is made up of myriad of people all individually different. 

When life for any reason at any point, brings your path and the path of others who may not be like you to a crossroad, DON’T BE QUICK to jump off the boat.

Don’t leave God because of a comment a pastor made or something you saw in one church. There are many churches you can join… but don’t abandon God. Do you know where the world is going without God? Don't sacrifice eternity on the altar of rage and inconsistent religious dogmas others are selling around.

Don’t quit your job out of anger because you can’t stand one person in your office when you have no job to go to. Do you know someone will kill to have your job? Out there people are dying of unemployment. Don’t give up that dream because of one closed door or one smack of frustration. Everyone is for themselves; people say what they want to say to keep going, take what you want to take and reject what you want to reject, but be sure you are not standing still or lying flat because of someone’s attitude towards you. 

Don’t abandon your country because of a few politicians who are mismanaging your economy. Stay in and make it work. Be the change you want to see. Do you know how people are struggling and looking over their shoulders out there because their papers are not intact and their jobs are not secured? Don’t be fooled by the glitz and glamor when they come to town… they had to work three jobs almost 24 hours for months to get that money. You work for 8 hours, a third of which you literally do nothing so keep quiet.

Don’t jump off because your partner is petty or they give you stress; someone will worship them, someone just want to have a boyfriend… Someone want to be called A MARRIED man/woman. In any case another man or woman is another of the same kind…or mostly so. Your partner can't give you kids and your pain is understandable, but the other person in your mind to marry can potentially give you losers and kids with terrible health issues you never imagined.

Don’t just jump…wait, if it’s God’s will for you to Jump, the rains will stop and the dry land will show up and God will open the gates for you…. Until then, keep your cool.

People outside of your experience are dying to be in your shoes… and when they are in it, they will stay and make it work because they know where they are coming from and they don’t wish anyone to be there. 

Patience, long suffering, endurance, tolerance and perseverance; these are some of the virtues that have keep the world intact and various institutions running.

The Rains will surely stop... and the Rainbow will show...

P. G. Sebastian
2012. All Rights Reserved.