Helping You Build A Relationship You Can All Be Proud Of

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Am Called Nana Kwaaba, A Mother of Three...About To Lose My Kids, Thanks To My Husband...But I Will Fight It To My Grave - ANOTHER CONVERSATION



Naa Ashorkor clung unto her husband as the ferocious sounding Alsatians barked from their cage hidden somewhere in the house. They had come to visit Nana Kwaaba, Edwin’s older sister, and her husband to congratulate them on his elevation as a partner in Lockmann and Barkers Auditing Firm. It was 3:15 PM on a bright sunny Sunday.

Within eyeshot on the horizon, a weak storm was brewing oblivious to them though. Naa clung tighter as the Alsatians barked harder.
“When will you ever muster courage in the face of anything?” Edwin asked his wife making a serious face. “Getting scared of Ants is ridiculous enough, now you are scared of Alsatian dogs? Come on!”
“Listen to yourself?” Naa said mildly irritated, noticing the deliberate exchanging of the Ants and the dog. “How can you compare ants with Alsatians? And if I am scared of ants what makes you think I would love dogs? And why didn’t we even wait for someone to escort us in there? Those dogs better be in a cage.”
“Well unfortunately they do not have a cage.” Edwin stated almost casually yet loving the pure fear dancing in his wife’s eyes.

She had not visited the family since they moved into this new apartment and was therefore wont to believe anything he told her.
“Are you serious?” Naa asked her husband, eyes popping out of their sockets and legs wobbling like jelly. She could pee on herself there and then.
“Yea,” Edwin responded with a grave face avoiding eye contact. “I do not know why they do that. Wild creatures. Eeuussh. And deadly too.”
“Are you are like really serious?” Naa asked completely paralysed with fear and heart beating twice faster. “Why don’t we stay out till someone comes to escort us in?” She said and paused in her tracks on the narrow path of concrete pavement surrounded by a large stretch of land beautifully garnished with grass and an assortment of beautifully manicured garden plants.

Just behind the walls were beautifully arrayed weeping willows of about 7 feet, all aspiring to grow and add to the shade already being created by the whistling pine trees and Indian almond trees. It was breathtaking.

But Naa couldn’t care about the abundant beauty surrounding her; she was a pile of petrified pulp sweating with fear more than the heat of the day.  

Kekele yelled and dashed towards the couple when she spotted Edwin from her playgrounds which was mounted next to the porch for monitoring purposes. She ran as fast as her tiny yet well shaped three year old legs could carry her. She ran straight into Edwin, burying her beautiful face right in between his thighs; where her height could allow her reach.

Edwin picked her up and threw her into the heavens as though an Angel was expected to catch her up and keep tossing her till she got to the very throne of Jesus, the lover of children. He threw her again, and again and again to an encouraging bouts of giggles which could only mean one thing, ‘keep throwing me up Uncle! Don’t you dare stop! I love what you are about to stop!’

He stopped and kissed her on her lips, getting his neatly trimmed moustache smeared with fresh mucous. Eeww! Was all Naa could think of before the dog-fright took over her mind again.
“Hey Sweetheart! I miss you! Don’t you miss me?” Edwin asked the exceptionally brilliant girl expecting an answer that was intended to shock Naa.
“I miss you Uncle, but you don’t look for me.” She did not disappoint Edwin.
“Do you know this Lady right here?” Edwin asked her referring to his wife.
“Nnnope. Who is she?” She asked, pointing her tiny index finger at Naa smiling and displaying a set of discoloured teeth, the evidence of chocolate abuse.
“Hey your teeth” Edwin said making a funny face. Kekele giggle gaily covering her mouth with hands painted with different layers of colour chalk.
“And your nose?” Edwin added with a childish giggle pointing to her running nose. Again she giggled and covered her nose.
“K, this is Auntie Naa, she is your second mummy and she is my wife. Oh and she is scared of the dogs.”
Kekele smile shyly and said, “I am not scared of Mr and Mrs Puppy Puddimus. I play with them. They will not bite you. They are in their Dog Mansion”
Naa sighed a big relieve with visible evidence of blood running back unto her face. She pinched her husband pretty hard at his back for causing fear and panic in her. "What the hell was that for?" She muttered into his rather big ear so Kekele could not pick the language.
Aaoocchh! Edwin let out a mild scream. "That hurts!"  Kekele laughed to it as they walked towards the porch, still clanged to her Uncle’s bosom.

Nana Kwaaba came out to the porch when she heard the trio talking. She had a beautiful smile on her face as she watched her kid brother and his rather modest wife playing with her child. She couldn’t help but notice how fast time flies. See how Edwin is all grown up; all manly and actually proving it by getting married. Mama’s boy.

As far as a wife was concerned, the least said about that choice the better. But that will not be a topic for discussion as her husband, Ebo, will not be amused. Of course they are both in the same profession.

She was happy for them though because as far as appearances spoke, they were happy with each other and that was what mattered.

Naa hugged her sister-in-law briefly as they entered the porch and exchanged a few pleasantries revealing the kind of body language that was mutually informing enough. Sister-in-law-I-know-you-are-not-so-much-into-me-but-its-all-right-i-married-your-brother-not-you-so-deal-with-it.

Nana Kwaaba is 45 years and already with one leg in the inner parameters of menopause; something she can sue anyone for if they ever told her to her face. Nothing on her showed that was her age and she was always grateful to God for such a 'swag-nificent' body...as she would love to call her body. She had a beautifully cropped hair laced with a well dispersed strands of grey hair, waved and lusciously oiled.

At her age she still gives women great deal of worry when she gets close to their husbands. Not that she was promiscuous or had the tendency for such, but her very intimidating beauty could get any woman worried...except they knew she was a staunch Christian and a helplessly chronic talkative who has the penchant to repeat her self 50x/hr. But suffice it is to say, she is pretty, talks a lot and very pleasant.

She quickly disappeared into the kitchen and started screaming down instructions at the house help, while Edwin and Naa made themselves comfortable in the living room.

They could hear Ebo talking on the phone from the Study and it was purely business. ‘Huh!’ Naa thought to herself ‘God forbid that my husband will be talking business on a weekend. What is it at all that cannot wait till Monday. Weekend is weekend. It’s that simple.’

Edwin had something similar running through his mind simultaneously. ‘Hmm this man is really getting on Naa’s naked nerves talking business on a weekend. ‘

Unconsciously a smile crept on his face and Naa caught it. They both exchanged telepathic looks and started laughing understandably. Kekele joined, very much convinced it’s a new fashion for older people to exchange glances and laugh. With her laughter, Naa and Edwin burst into a torrent of laughter making Kekele the laughing stock. In actual fact they were laughing at the fact that in this family business conversation could go on anytime while in their family they make a big fuss about when that conversation could be held.

“Where are the other musketeers?” Edwin shouted across to his sister in the kitchen while flipping thru the channels looking for Movie Magic.
“Rosa is yet to return from a church get-together and Elikem is freezing his sinful butt in his hot room. He is grounded for three months. No public appearance."  She replied “And I hope Lil K did not hear my language.” She added suddenly being mindful of her choice of words and the higher likelihood her husband would be upset...as he has always been anytime such language was used in the house. She gave a mental shrug, ‘can I blame me? Blame it on 20years of upbringing in Atlanta!’

“Grounded?” Edwin said exchanging stunned looks with his wife. “Why, that is too long,” Edwin gave a voice to their thoughts.
“Hmm,” Ebo said sneaking in from the study, wearing a faded Levi’s Jeans that was struggling to cleave to his hipless waist. He made no attempt at covering his disproportionate tummy that could easily be mistaken for pregnancy if men ever got pregnant.
“Your sister can be too extreme at times. Sometimes I wonder why she does that.” He said flatly taking his favourite seat next to Naa and struggling silently with his breath.

‘What? This is outrageous. This man needs to lose weight ASAP.’ Naa thought enraged by the sheer tummy size Ebo was nursing. Then she observed silently to herself, ‘if Nana Kwaaba was quietly married to this humpty dumpty here, why does she think Edwin could not marry her?’

“Okay so someone is bringing up this issue again.” Nana Kwaaba said uneasily, emerging from the Kitchen with some sumptuous looking pastries.
“I think we need to be clear about this; I don’t know why Ebo get all personal when the question of discipline comes up.” Nana stated, sitting the tray in front of their visitors.
“What are you guys drinking?”  She asked, pausing the contention at hand for a later play. “Eddie baby is taking his favourite Pineapple juice and Naa, Still with your Orange Juice?”
Naa gave a gentle smile and nodded in affirmation
“But you know it is not too good for a lady to be hooked on orange juice especially when she has not eaten anything. Too much acid.” Nana said yet pouring a glass full of the orange juice she had brought together with the pastries.

Naa thought it was funny; but then she understood Nana was really men-o-paused. She knows she loves Orange juice, she knows it’s not good for her, yet she brought it and she is serving her with it. Hmm

“What you guys do not understand is the fact that much as the world is changing, there are certain things that must not be allowed to change. Disciplining children is one of those cardinal things that cannot suffer from social evolution. Without proper training, how are we going to ensure that the future of our world would be entrusted into safe hands when we are dead and gone?” Nana said emphatically as someone who is the epitome of discipline.
“What are you saying?” Ebo asked frustrated. “I am not saying the children are not to be put right when they err.”
“And these are the expressions I do not want to hear Ebo!!! you keep using words like, Misdoings, Errors, inabilities, shortfalls. I mean? When a child is being a brat, he is being a brat. Just take the damn thing out of him before it engulfs him. For crying out loud, which part of this simple philosophy is difficult for your quantitative mind to grasp baby? Bible says to train up a child in the way he should go so when he grows he will not depart from it. And I, Adwoa Kwaaba, will uphold this to the letter!!!

“Proverbs says a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. I am not ready for that shame. I will deal with it now before it deals with me later. Seriously, we do not need to euphemise their bad behaviours and make it look like they are some manageable illness. We must not treat them as kittens; we must treat them as the cubs they are before they grow up to be lions and roar at us if not eat us up. That is my position. At their ages it is not an issue similar to a diabetic condition that must be managed; it is like malaria, cure it now! This position of mine, not even the president can change it. I would rather be martyred first!”

Ebo laughed emptily. “I have no problem with this Nana; I am only asking that whatever disciplinary measure you choose to administer must be relevant, realistic and corrective. You have grounded a 17 year old young man for 3 months because you caught him with a porn material...”
“A porn material?” Naa let out a mild alarm and felt maybe the issue was deep seated than it met the eye.
“Yes my dear, a porn clip on his laptop. You should see a young masculine pig sodomising another pig! Lord, have mercy!  My son! Where did he get it from? Because there are no restrictions. He has internet access in the comfort of his room 24/7 only God knows if the fool is not having online sex with some hookers from Holland. I am disgusted, really!”
“Hold on, are you saying what I am thinking?” Edwin asked his mind wandering on the fringes of same sex porn.
“Yes Baby, it was a gay porn! Can you imagine? The disgust of it. He was friggin’ lucky I didn’t smash his damn Mac!!!”
“But does that warrant disconnecting his internet and grounding him from watching TV for that long? Confiscating his IPod and all that? Do you think he will not watch it when he goes to school if he so wishes? How do you intend to police the missing gap? How do you expect him to do his assignment? He is in his final year.” Ebo interrupted very upset yet keeping a much levelled voice.

“I will do what I can, when I can and how I can and pray to God to deal with the rest. I want the best for the kids; Ebo don’t make’em think am the bad person out here. I am scared that is how they thinking of me now.”

“Rosa hardly tells me anything anymore. Anytime I raise an objection regarding what she want to do or have, she won’t even beg me for it; she quietly walks away into her room and waits for her dad to come back from work, and the next instance she has what she wants, leaving me looking pretty much stupid. Naa is this right in your estimation? Don’t you guys think this family is being polarised? I mean, that is not how we were raised, was it?”

Naa and Eddie sat sheepishly and every bit embarrassed, wearing shark-like grins not knowing what to say. They came to visit not to talk about child discipline.
“Young man, listen to me.” Ebo said referring to Eddie, “I understand we were all raised differently but I am very much certain your sister is not being fair in her approach to some of these issues. She is being a little bit too hard on the children. It is a big world out there and there is so much a parent can do. Out there is a sea of challenges facing every teenager, so you must train your children to handle these challenges when they come up; not to force them live or walk in the opposite direction.”

“I am not telling my children to be social deviants” Nana Kwaaba intervened adamantly, “what we are experiencing today in our society is the deviant and that is not the way I want to raise my children. If our parents had left us to ourselves, do you think we would be where we are? I was lucky I grew up in the States so I did not see much of parental restrictions; but even there, my father would always call to give out instructions on what was right and wrong and those invaluable prompts kept me going.”

“In this very instance, I have not told him not to use his laptop, have I? It is a big world out there as you say and we must train them to handle the challenge. Fair enough. The challenge was the porn he saw and the challenge’s proper management was for him to close his eyes to it or at least not to have it in his possession. He, however, has it there on his desktop in a folder called ‘Dangerously Evil’ Lord Jesus! The fool has failed to handle the challenge and I must bring him to order. I don’t care how you were brought up! I care about my kids! Period." Nana spat or the words rapidly throwing her arms viciously in the air in utter rage and desperation. When she was done she slum back into the sofa breathing heavily and nursing a menacing frown on her subtly wrinkling face.

“Ok so my parents did a bad job on me huh? Right.” Ebo said taking her wife’s comment pretty serious.

A moment silence followed.

Naa cleared her throat in a way that got everyone’s attention. K darling, would you do us a big favour and go out to your playhouse? I will get you a biiiiiggg lollipop when I next come over. deal?
Yippeeyyy! Deal!!! Kekele said and rushed out!

Naa smiled when she returned her attention to the others and realised they were all waiting for her to say whatever she wanted to say, if she had something to say; something sensible to say. It didn’t look like it though. She returned an uncomfortable smile while unconsciously fidgeting with her fingers. She avoided directed eye contact with her husband in case she started laughing; she wanted to sound and appear as serious as she could.

Nana Kwaaba instantly took a liking for her and suddenly realised there could be something common to the two of them aside Eddie baby; that was Discipline. She felt it the moment she told Kekele to go out. How many times had she not incurred the wrath of Ebo for suggesting that the Kekele be sent to her room when they are discussing issues with adult contents? Ebo always insist she was too young to be bothered. But when will she be considered old enough to be sent away? If she could dial her parents’ cell numbers off head, then she can recall and recount to her friends some of these conversations or scenes she sees around the house.

“I think, personally with my little or no expertise in child rearing, but from keen observations and reading around, that there is a great deal of family discontinuity here as far as the issue of discipline is concerned. I am tempted to think that maybe...just maybe, you guys have not really taken it seriously to chart down a common approach to child discipline. And because of this, you are all practising what in your opinion constitute the best form of child rearing thereby having collisions anytime your paths come from the opposite direction along the same rail.”

“I am sure this silent everyone’s-own-approach-to-discipline has not been much of a problem until the seeds of it started bearing fruits. If you are now starting to look for solutions in the face of the problems, you might have a hard time finding one and applying it.”

“Exactly what I have been talking about; let’s us put structures in place to ensure their proper upbringing. Ebo will not have that; always playing along the innocence of their faces and believing they are going to be good kids. What?” Nana Kwaaba resurrected from her self induced stupor.

“Well I think that appearances must not be used as tools in determining whether children will end up being socially responsible in the future or not.” Naa said quietly, loathing the interruption.

“Thank you Naa. Even if they were angels with two cute wings, they still must be groomed in the way they are expected to grow rather than be left on their own and hope they will do well. There are some things hope does not work in; like things you must work at."  

“I can see that much as the two of you grew up in the US, you still had considerable different upbringings and socialisation which is now telling on your approach to raising the children.” Naa observed bluntly suddenly sounding like a counselor.

“It is a fact sociologically that averagely, the backgrounds of parents have controlling effects on the way they raise their own families of procreation. Differences in socializations of individual parents always come up in one way or the other to influence the standards of behaviour they expect of their children. These differences in backgrounds also influence an individual parent’s definition of what is permissible and what is not; how long will the child be given the rope and when to rein him in.”

That opening statement caught Edwin’s attention; it suddenly reminded him of the conversation he had earlier had with his boys regarding how they expected him to treat Naa. He knew she had some interest in social issues, but he had no clue she could speak with that authority. He kept nodding his head listening to her wife talk. There were many things he loved in her, but he was not sure he was aware he was about to be given something that would raise the pride bar.

“And as I said earlier,” Naa went on talking, “The influence these differences exerts usually appears when the question of discipline and definite response to specific misbehaviour of a child comes up. And in most families, as it is happening here, these are considerable source of tension between the man and the woman especially when the variations are of significance and each partner is bent on seeing their individual views upheld.”
“An instance is when one partner believes in the all-time conservative ‘beat-the-hell-out-of-the-brat’ principle and the other partner also believes in the liberal or participatory way of raising up children; Like we are observing now...if I am permitted to use our current situation as a case in reference.”
Ebo shrug with a face signalling he cared less.  
“The conservative partner will never see eye to eye with the fact that an erring child should be talked to instead of administering a strong disincentive or a negative reinforcement which, most of the time, is in the form of physical punishment or a discouraging reinforcement. And in this case I am tempted to cite Nana as the conservative here.”
“Glory be to God! I am a conservative any time! This your modern world sucks!”
“So what are you doing in Prada outfit from hair to toe and those Swarovski Jewelleries? You should be dressed like an Amish!” Ebo said sarcastically.
“Well... deal with it.” Nana responded having not anticipated that sarcasm from her husband.
Eddie sat shaking his head and wondering if her sister will ever change. Naa smiled at the couple and resumed talking sticking to her precise and definitive almost textbook expressions.
“The liberal partner will also never accept that the cane in the best solution. In a perfect state like this, most often than not, it is the parents who end up arguing and hyping up the problem leaving the key issue out – correction of the child.”
“A smart child will always play this to his or her advantage. They will put up their worse bahaviours in the presence of both parents and set them against each other thereby getting away with that misdeed. 

An example is a child who likes to stay out for long. Such a child will not come home when he is sure his dad is still at work - if he is the liberal type. He or she is aware daddy really does not care how long a child stays out as long as he or she comes home in time to wash up and do the house chores, and does not come with any fights. Such a child will only come home when dad is home so that if mum start throwing tantrums dad will, most likely, shut her up.”

“Merciful Lord, Show me more mercy!” Nana Kwaaba said dramatically, “you must be referring to Rosa; and the Dad in question is the one next to you. Continue please, It’s getting interesting.”
“Oh yes it is,” Ebo responded, “and the tormenting mum is the one who just spoke, we are all ears sister.”

Eddie chuckled not really wanting to cut in, enjoying every bit of his wife’s lectures. He had never been this proud of her.

Naa resumed where she left off picking it up with such mental precision it surprised her. “For Parents to be seen as a unified force in instilling or enforcing discipline, they should talk about discipline and acceptable behaviour they would both want of their children. This should be as early as possible in their children’s development and a continuing process as the question of discipline and how to handle it evolves on situational basis.“
“Well Elikem is 17 years and Rosa is 14 so I do not know if we are late, thanks to Mister Let-the-kids-be, but I am sure as hell they must wake up to some disciplinary realities! Talk my dear, you are blessing my heart; way better than the sermon at church. I can bet my last One Ghana Cedi coin on it.” Nana Kwaaba said giving them more drama. Everyone laughed in disbelief... except Ebo. There was nothing funny going on here. He was thinking to himself.

Eddie was sure their mum was much easier to deal with than Nana. All Ebo could do was sit and shake his head as it suddenly hit him that, that was what drew him to her; her strong will and power of insistence. He, however, had no idea one day it would be used against him. What a woman.
“Ok so...” Naa said trying to organise their thoughts back from the drama to the main case being treated.  “You guys should make it clear to each other what you expect of your children and what you would allow them to do. You should give reasons for those beliefs; whether it is as a result of your own upbringing or experiences, observations or materials read.”

“Whatever stance each other takes should be justifiable and with grounds for possible compromise. You need to see your differences as complementary rather than contentious. It should also tell you that none of you has the complete solution to the child’s grooming and correctional needs and therefore your individual views are not ultimate.

Such decisions should also be informed by the fact that a child’s well being or otherwise will not bring pleasure or grief to just one party for which reason they may seek to do things in their way; whatever happens to the child later in life will be a shared responsibility and hence the need for every one of you to have the opportunity of participating in making that life affecting decisions on the child. It is a compromise both of you must make.”

Eddie sat nodding his head in affirmative, his heart dancing in his chest. What a jewel I have got, he thought to himself.

“This compromised position, unfortunately, is a very difficult position most parents do not want take and some partners devote enormous amount of time and energy trying to make their partners think and act more like them instead of settling on what would best cater for the child’s disciplinary needs.”
“Like what we are having here.” Ebo said tastelessly flat.
“Oh yea? When my kid’s future wellbeing is at stake, it’s my husband who must come along.” Nana Kwaaba responded equally tastelessly.
“Can we please allow Naa to talk? I am seriously learning here.” Eddie cut in, a wee bit frustrated yet displaying on his face a look of gratification.

Naa looked at her husband, offered a mildly suggestive smile and continued. “Maybe we need to view the call of discipline primarily as teaching and correctional rather than punishment; this view should inform the kind of responses you two would give to specific disciplinary needs of the kids. This should also help you to relax a bit on your stance as to what end each other’s mode of discipline will lead the child.

 It is also important that your view of discipline is communicated to the children for them to appreciate the genuine parental concern for their future, which sometimes must necessarily manifest in a way that is grave and admonishing. The children in this way should be made to learn that following rules will keep a child safe and in disregarding them there are always consequences, whether now or in the future; consequences from parents or from the larger society.

It will be your responsibility to sit the children down and discuss with them: 1. what you expect of them; 2. how to achieve it 3. and what your reaction will be if they do not follow through what is expected of them.

You both and the children should together be clear on what the consequences will be; whether it is a reward or punishment. There should be a unified acknowledgement of efforts and offer of positive reinforcement and support when the child is seen to be meeting parental, family and self-developing expectations.

“Most importantly,” Naa said with much stress and emphasise she momentarily made them all feel like they were some Buddhist Monks sitting under some wise sage taking lessons.   “You must be bold to follow through with the appropriate disciplinary measures whether it’s a support or correction when the child is seen not to be meeting expectations. To this end, both of you must present a unified front which is consistent and predictable.

We can look at three basic steps to achieving this unified front;

Both of you should agree on the crucial developmental issues and take a unified position on the appropriate behaviours you expect of the child in question. You should agree on and take it personal the consequences of the child obeying or disobeying, meeting or falling short of an expectation; and should show the strength and courage to carry out the appropriate response the child’s behaviour demands.

You should be consistent in your outward responses in a way that shows unity. In the event that one of you is not so sure how the other will react in a given situation, it is very helpful if the erring child is sent to their room while you two quickly think of an appropriate response. If one of you for natural reasons reacts reflexively to that specific behaviour in a way that the other partner is not in agreement with, the partner with the differing view should find an appropriate time to express their dissenting view. Open disagreements between you two will portray a lack of consideration and respect for each other. This in itself manifests disunity in your approach to discipline.

And as much as you two can handle it, you both must try and avoid intervening in the disciplinary dispute that comes up between any one of you and the children unless such intervention is of utmost necessity. However, even that intervention should as much as possible demonstrate some neutrality on the part of the intervening partner. Direct interference in a disagreement will only intensify a situation or lead to a new dispute between you and those involved. It is often beneficial if in the home at any point in time, there is one of the parents taking a neutral stance in any dispute between a child and any of the parents. This can help create the avenue for venting anger. Families with teenagers tend to have more of such dispute, and from what we are seeing here, we have really entrenched positions with no one in the mood to compromise.

As far as Elikem is concerned, his mother is hard and unforgiving and his father is the all angelic man. It does not speak well to family unity and its cohesion. And am sure since Elikem got grounded you have had more than one argument directly in relation to that. And if I am not wrong, the grounding was at his mum’s instigation while his father openly showed his disapproval of it.

“You have had some good visions my dear.” Nana answered bluntly. “But you can bet on my dignity am not giving up.”

“Naa listen to me,” Ebo said trying not to sound upset though it was obvious from his voice. “I am not saying the kids must not be disciplined; that is not my point. My point is that we must both have one approach to dealing with them which must exhibit a certain amount of consideration. We certainly have our differences but one person should not hijack the whole child rearing thing and make the other person insignificant in the lives of the kids. As long as you maintain that stance, I would have no option than to be the soft spot they are lacking. I do not want my kids to be timid; neither do I want them to have unnecessary hatred for me. That is my point, and that is the point Naa is making”

“Husband, you must understand that in as much as there is a need for us to compromise our position on the discipline issue, whatever you are bringing to the table must be workable and be of good substance.” Nana said thoughtlessly. Ebo was cut in the heart deeply.

“So you are telling me I do not make sense with the ideas that will help them grow to be responsible right? Fine.”

“Well I did not say that in so many words, but if you call a 17year old boy watching a gay porn with a lotion next to him an incidence, then am wondering what you are expecting to see the child do before you call it what it is.” Nana knew her husband was hurt by her earlier remarks, but she knew she had to flush it down with further evidence of his weakness in taking a firmer stance with regards to the disciplining of their first two kids.

“Porn and lotion?” Eddie blurted 

“A 700MB, 1:23min long gay porn and a Dove cream. Uh huh!” Nana cried out!
“Does that mean he was doing what you have been trying to accuse him of doing? I mean...”Ebo challenged her finally revealing fury on his face.
“You mean what, Ebo? Say what you mean. The cream is for his sister, what was it doing in his room? Should I replay it for the sake of clarity and mental conception the scene as we both saw it? Look Ebo, If we cannot agree on the severity of his foolishness and punish him accordingly, what picture do you think we will be conveying to him. Now I am the villain here. Baby, you are not helping me here.”

“Do you think whatever he was doing was ok? You want to catch him in which act again? To see him holding his Willy and rubbing it up and down before you call it what it is? The boy was contemplating masturbation. That simple. And Jesus save his soul; it could be his daily siesta companion. Have you thought about why he is constantly upstairs? Lord Jesus, my child needs deliverance.”
  
“Wow,” Naa said finally managing something to say, not doing much to conceal her shock. Was the boy masturbating? She wondered yet resisting the urge to go into that conversation thereby veering off the main issue. ...TO BE CONTINUED


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