Helping You Build A Relationship You Can All Be Proud Of

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

The Next Conversation - Leave and Cleave Edwin!!!

Edwin looked all excited. His very eyes, in a bizarre way, reflected the neon light in the room giving him the appearance of a Character from a Hollywood vampire movie.

“If this hits, guys, am gone; gone with the south wind!” Edwin said, pleased with himself.

“And you think we will sit down and watch you go?” Kwame asked, sharing in Edwin's excitement. “We are jumping on board immediately the Chinese guys touch down here”

“Of course! Would we be talking about it if it excluded you? You guys will all be investors! The main local guys!” Edwin said as assuring as he could sound.

“We ago run things!” George said with a smooth Jamaican accent, slamming his palm on the table and spilling Justin' drink a wee bit.
“Things kiant run we!”  Justin responded coolly in the same Jamaican accent.
“Shatter!” That was John, “man, this plan is big!”
“And it will hit for real” Edwin said with a child-like optimism.

“How much startup capital are we looking at?” Kwame inquired after the rush of excitement had subdued.
“US$1 mil” Edwin dropped the amount without a flinch.
“Sweet Jesus!” George let out a cool stream of shock. “And the Chinese guys are taking 60% up?”
“And what did Naa say when you told her? Has she bought into it?” Kwame asked curiously.
“Naa?” Edwin blurted out the name as if the question was the dumbest any living creature could come up with. “I have not told her yet. I need to get the basics down; I need to get all related and relevant stakeholders involved and stuff like that. I will tell her but not now”

George nodded his rather big head in agreement; a guy who is pretty much used to thinking alone. What do you expect if you spend two years of your marital life on telephone and once-in-six-month-three-weeks’ (twice in a year) vacation to UK.
“At this stage, I need to get the hard facts and the ground work done. This is a gamble that takes guts. But it’s more than a gamble; it is a door that has been ajar all this while looking for someone to enter.”
“And you have entered…” George concluded for his best friend.
“I’d have to meet up with my dad tomorrow and take his opinion on the whole move. I would need him to link me up with a few customers who would be on standby so rolling out becomes smooth. I also have to speak with Edwina’s husband. That 37 year old nerd, pardon my description, has a business mind the size of India.” Edwin rattled down all his plans to his friends and feeling all impressed with his clarity of thoughts.

“And after you have met all these guys, then you will tell your wife.” Justin stated pensively.

“Oh she will know within the week. This thing just came up yesterday and you are the first people am telling for obvious reasons.”

“Massa, you have to tell your wife first.”  John advised from the wealth of experience he has acquired as a married man. “If Anytta, despite our differences, finds out that I took a major decision bothering the two of us without consulting with her first, she will make me sniff chilli pepper trust me.”  

“Yeah,” Kwame stepped in on the side of John, “you guys have been married for barely 4 months and if there is a time that the two of you must think closely and plan together, it is now. There will always be a time when you will be inclined to take such decisions on your own without recourse to her, but obviously that time is not now. Besides we are looking at a huge amount; you must let her buy into it and help you sell it. Don’t go and sell it and come and force the result on her. My personal opinion”

“Kwame listen to yourself,” that was George speaking coolly and placing emphasis on the individual words rather than the sum total of the sentence. “We are talking about US$400,000.00. Don’t you think Naa might as well come up with a thousand and one reasons why it is risky to undertake such a venture?”
“Exactly!” Edwin jumped at the chance to protest. “Women for you; and soon you would lose the steam to move on. Guys I can’t afford that”
“Last time I checked, Edwin, your wife was a chartered accountant and has an MSc. in Risk Management who said she will freak out on you?” That was John.
“Chartered accountants and risk managers are not necessarily risk takers are they?” George stated rhetorically and in a strange way created a muting effect after he spoke. No one spoke for 4 solid seconds - a long break for an argument

No one saw Justin browsing on his cell phone; so no one knew he had opened the KJV Bible installed on it and was reading a scripture he had read just that morning as his devotion scripture.

“Regardless, Edwin, of the fact that she could either be a risk taker - for which reason she will jump at the plan, or risk averse - for which reason she will quench your fire, you need to know that, as long as the consequences of that venture affects her primarily by the singular virtue of the fact that she is your wife, she has to be the first point of call.” Justin spoke and the rest were left with no choice than to listen.

“She is your wife; someone you dated for three years before marriage, obviously, you know her better than we do and therefore you are better placed to pre-empt her response to such news.  But when someone sits in that position in anyone’s life as a spouse, there are certain latent demands their partners must fulfill or that union starts to falter regardless of their reactions.”
“I would also try and make it clear today and here that it is about time you weaned yourself from your father and your family of orientation – your mother, your father, your twin sister and her husband and to a great extent, us.”

“Today I am telling you, Edwin the time has come to leave everything thing else behind and cleave to your wife.”

“Eii Massa, are you upset?” George asked doing little to conceal his surprise at Justin’s emotional outburst. “Relax for the young man! Let him do as he sees fit”
To which Justin replied without beating about the bush “Permit me not respond George. You need deliverance; in fact you need salvation”
“Ah? I am only trying to see the thing from Edwin’s point of view. Massa don’t bring yourself”
“Hey shut up!” John jokingly chided George sensing he was deliberately trying to frustrate Justin.

“I am reading something from Genesis chapter 2: 24-25, Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.’

After he had read it, he put his phone back in its case and exhaled quietly, while all eyes on the table turned on him. For some inexplicable reason, not even Edwin felt that talk coming was unnecessary. Somehow all the friends have come to perceive Justin as a wise and very realistic counsellor they could always talk to, and no time, for them, was a wrong timing.

Leave Physically. Leaving your Parents means leaving their authority so you can establish your own authority; it means breaking up with your dependency on them so you can be self dependant. By implication it means leave your family behind and shut the door to it. Step out and start your life; lock that door and lock the key in another locker and lock that key in another locker. Make sure going back there is not an easy task. That is the only way you can force yourself to find a way of living your life outside that door called the family of orientation.”

Before your wedding, we had to force you to accept that you needed to rent your own place until you could afford to buy or start building your own house; that it was important that you moved out of your parents’ place. Looking back now, do you thing you made a mistake by renting your own house?

Yes the entire 4 bedroom boys’ quarters is now empty, but you also have your peace of mind. Your mum does not come to your room anytime she wants again to run through your stuff and ask unnecessary questions. Do you think a 68 year old overly protective mother like the one you have would have done anything differently if you had moved in with your wife?

Can we count the number of times, before she married, that Edwina decided, for some reasons best know her, to come to your room to watch movies anytime Naa visited? How many times did you and Naa Fight over this? Are you not enjoying the peace you have now?

Stop consulting your dad on everything including the socks you want to wear to the office every morning. Stop consulting your mum on which African print or traditional clothes would look good on your wife; and stop asking for your sister’s opinion before you buy gifts for your wife.

These are not bad in themselves; but the more you become dependent on them, the less likely you would want to study your wife and get her life to move in the direction that is unique to her. Don’t mould your wife in your mum’s or sister’s image.

Olay products may work perfectly for your sister but it should not be the same product for your wife, except you want her to smell like your sister. Take your wife on a shopping spree and allow her to pick from her heart then you can start building your knowledge on things that tickle her fancy.

You are fond of surprises; but what is the use if the object intending to surprise ends up offending her. Your wife’s idea of a well dressed woman might be the one in suit with skirt or trousers. Stop showering her with pieces and pieces of African prints and Kente because your mum said they would look good on her. Women hate to hear that! ‘My mum said, and my sister said... and my friend said! What are you saying mister? What am I saying mister?

I do not dispute the fact that when you need an expert insight you must consult someone. If you are buying a set of jewellery for her, you would need some advice on what is genuine and what is fake; you would need a place where quality and variety would be assured etc. That is about it. If you are not classy, which you are, and you think you have specific problems regarding handling stuff like that and you would need help, you can get a very good friend of hers to help and from there you start making that conscious effort at learning to do these things. If your sister happens to be a very good friend of hers, that is also acceptable. But you do not close the door of learning and cast that responsibility of choosing for your wife on someone else because they are there to help when you need them.

You must resonate in the choice of gift you give to or other things you do for your wife. Let her say, ‘this reminds me of my man’

“A real man, to the average woman, is a DIY man; an all-round-a-little-this-a-little-that man. A man who seem ready and well able to take some woman out of her daddy’s house and bring her to his own house and take good care of her.”

“This real man is not ‘Lemme talk to my dad first or lemme talk to my mum first! She wants to tell her friends how her husband does magic at the snap of her fingers. She wants to call her husband, when she is driving and remembers something she needs to get done, and get an am-on-it response not why-don’t-you-call-this-person-or-that-person response.”

“Immediately your wife discovers that your life is a kind of buy-and-sell life life, she starts looking for the manufacturers; after all you don’t manufacture anything yourself. Sometimes money shouldn’t buy everything. Your wife want to see some abilities in you that make you self sufficient. After all that is why you married her; to be sufficient with you.”

“People always mirror the action of others. If your wife finds out that she is not the first point of call regarding issues bothering the two of you, whether important or trivial, she will be less inclined to think with you and be given more to talking to her friends and relatives about stuff that are also important to her. Is that what you want?”

“We all love your mum for one thing...”

“...Her pastries and salad.” George said eliciting an uneasy smile from the rest of them.
“What do you expect; we are Fantis.” Edwin said proudly but with a subdued voice.

So at least you appreciate the pressure that puts on your wife. From her ethnic background, she is likely to be modest with what she puts on your table despite the fact that she had all her secondary and tertiary education in the Central Region. You will do her a lot of good if you stopped calling your mum to bring you pastries every weekend; in fact you do not have to see your parents every weekend. You make it so obvious she is lacking there.

You had three years to date her; you should have at least made her learn this culinary stuff from your mum or Edwina; and we know Mrs. Ever-Ready-to-Teach would have loved to do that. But you did not because you were so used to ‘mum’s cooking’, you did not see it coming that you would, at a point in time, have to break up with her and start your own life.

Edwin, the more you stay in touch with your parents regarding the dos and don’ts of running your life, the greater the challenge of you ever getting that recognition as a grown up man.

That constant and prolonged contact would always bring you to the point of talking about home issues, and you would end you up talking about things that would appear as flaws in her and in your home.  This has a direct relationship with the measure of respect likely to be accorded her. You end up prejudicing her standing in the eyes of your family.

You cannot afford that at this stage of your marriage.

Why bring Edwina’s husband in? Your wife works with a major league Accountancy firm; don’t you think her job might have gotten her some knowledge in this area? Don’t you think she might know someone who could help? I understand your desire for the best and easy way out of things, but sometimes the longest way is the shortest way to getting things done and done right.

Leave emotionally. Your twin sister’s days of crying on you over trivials are over. Your new tear-partner is your wife. Stopping flying over to her house anytime she snaps her finger; she is old enough to handle her baggage. Stop telling your mum the stress you are going thru at work; tell your wife. Stop discussing your wife with your family. If you have disagreements, try hard to sort it out among yourselves. If your wife is that inconsiderate and adamant to the point where you must always bring in an outsider when you two have issues, then I swear heaven you wouldn’t have married her. If you did marry her, then we all agree you find her pretty reasonable.

Leave financially. It is understandable, if your father can sort your out why go for a loan and pay outrageous interest rates; but that is the only way your father will come to see you as a man and not a boy; that is the only way you can surprise him with projects you have accomplish on your own and that is the only way you can gain his respect.

Sweat with your wife bro; it makes her feel a little more ‘Part of it’. She feels more secure and relates with your family as co-equals and not subservient to them. She can talk freely and honestly when she knows she owes no financial debt to them.

This is the right age and time to start charting your own financial path. If you don’t start it now and you get comfortable with your father’s magnanimity, you might find it increasingly difficult weaning yourself later. 

For a man to be truly blessed, sometimes he must separate himself from his family. Your family might have brought you where you are, and they might have done a good job, but your destiny is not in your father nor your mother; it is in you. You must identify with it and establish it. If you live your life in the shadows of your parents, they will live on even after they are dead and gone while you live and labour for that name, when you could have also had your name and made your mark as God intended for you. Don’t let people do things for you because of your parents. Let them say, you have grown taller than your father and we are pleased accord the same respect we accorded him and even more to you.” If your father’s name opened doors of palaces for you, let your own name open gates of cities to you.

Leave socially. Do not compare your family of orientation to your family of procreation: food; choice of home decor; certain taste; certain beliefs; routines and rituals; who does what etc. Sure you cannot wake up one day and throw away your socialisation and family culture and assimilate those of another person.

The plan indeed is not to assimilate; it is rather you coming to terms with who she is and who you are and deciding that if you two married and lived under the same roof, you could manage your differences; either by coping or by changing them; yet in a way that would not come as a surprising demand on the other.If you made those decisions before you married, then it is all left with their implementation.
And we all presume that if you went ahead to marry her, then you were to a great extent, comfortable with her.

She also has a life of her own; based on a socialisation which, we are certain, would upset you if you were told to imbibe them and live them out. How would you feel if her actions and inactions; language – verbal and non-verbal point to the fact that she is transporting her family of orientation into her family of procreation?

Start your own society in your home based on a culture with common agreeable values, norms, more, belief systems and aspirations. It does not matter where they are coming from or where they were borrowed from so long as it is not, this is how we did it in our home so let's do it here. Whatever the two if you decide to do, must be something done in good faith and forged out of veritable experience with provable results. Daily wholesale consultation and cultural importation must end

If you used to ask your dad for money, let him teach you how to make your own money. If your dad has business links that get things done, let him introduce you to the source – after all he will not live forever. If your mum went on her knees to pray for you constantly, you and you wife must learn how to go on your knees and pray together.

It is not shameful if your mum is a great cook and you find a nice way of letting your wife pick a few tips from her; after all she is aware your mum is that good in the kitchen. Besides that humiliation would be short lived as a opposed to constant conflict when it comes to the kitchen. But it is not only your mum who can prepare the best salad in the world; you can always enlist the service of a professional so she can have that training.

Cleave to your wife. First, see your wife, yourself and your marriage as living your life on a no-other-man island after a shipwreck. What would you do?

You would survive right? You would come up with innovative ways of living right? Yes. You would be a little tougher, think together, as she is the only option left; you would pray together, laugh together, dream together, wakeup together. You would scratch each other’s back and try and enlist each other’s support and perspective in every endeavour, and see strength in the two of you.

In an ultimate sense that is how life is. We are all islands in our various homes. People relate with you the way they see you on the outside; but that relationship changes when they start waking up with you. The one who wakes up with you, has an insider information no one else has and are therefore better equipped or placed in most cases, to help you make certain decisions. Again I ask, ‘what are you doing in bed with someone whose judgement you cannot trust anyway?

People can only help up to the level of their understanding of you and your circumstance or how you are able to express them. But there is someone who is observing you on daily basis; they might not be the best judge of your experience, but you cannot bypass their perception or judgment of you neither can you place them as second fiddles.

Our humanity, fraught with weaknesses, insufficiencies and myriads of limitations, makes it impossible not to fall on someone in life; but if you leave everything thing else and cleave onto your partner, and establish the habit of starting all your search for life’s solutions from the home before you go out, you would be surprise what God has blessed your home with. You reduce the time spent chasing after external help when half of your problems could be handled at home. You build a stronger family based in mutual trust and respect and place yourself in a position where your family and friends would have no other option than to respect and honour you and your partner. Your family is spared all the intrusion that comes with dependency and the inconvenience of being handicapped.

When you leave all else and cleave to that one single thing that is the only thing a part of you- The bone of your bone and the flesh of your flesh – any time it becomes necessary to fall outside your home, people are more inclined to help and they find that need genuine; you get the help needed and walk away with your dignity intact and the certainty that no one is insulting you at your back.

When you dream, you should ask yourself what you can do to make it work; tell your partner about it and ask for her opinion; put your thoughts and resources together and see the limits you can reach before it becomes necessary to call in external help. Define and agree on the source of help you want and seek it together.

You might think this plan of yours is way too bold and takes guts to involve your wife; think about it: these Chinese guys are from Hong Kong; your wife works with an Accountancy/Auditing firm with branches all over the world including Hong Kong. Are you forgetting something? Don’t you think she could find someone in any of their offices to do a background check...regarding their genuineness if that is possible?

Two people don’t become one flesh when they live as opposites, they are more likely to become one when they are adjacent, facing one direction sharing one a lot of things in common, side by side as equals.

They were both naked and were not ashamed. This is one deep statement we can ever have on the state of openness between couples.

We all have certain images regarding the first couple; and we all have an idea what it means to be naked literally. But there are two kinds of nakedness; nakedness with shame and nakedness without shame.

Those who are naked and ashamed are those who are constantly making efforts at hiding their nakedness, and would go to great extents to hide themselves or reduce the degree of their exposure. Those who are naked and are not ashamed behave just like toddlers - They don’t see the need to hide their nakedness; for them being naked or clothed has no significance.

A lot of people would disagree with the reinvention of the idea of utter nakedness between couples because the unfairness of the world has given them enough reasons  not to do so and they have built on those reasons to create mental barriers. I would, however, urge you to go totally naked with your spouse, and for that matter all of you here with me. It always returns good dividend.

Total Nakedness means no private space, no restricted areas, no passwords and codes. Total openness; both hands are on the table so we all know you are not pulling any surprise from under the table

Total Nakedness means, I know how much you earn; you know how much I earn. You have your account, I have mine and we also have a joint account, this percentage of your income drops in, this percentage of mine drops in. I know you got promoted, I know your salary was affected; by how much? I have a fair idea of your cash inflows and outflows. Openness.

Nakedness means I can pick your calls when you are in the bathroom and the phone is ringing; and I can pick your phone to make calls or send texts and choose not to delete the records afterwards.

It also means I know your male friends and you also know my female friends; at least those who matter. It means we try as much as possible to have more mutual friends than individual friends.

Nakedness means I know where my wife or husband is at any point in time. I don’t have to be surprised by a friend who spotted my husband with some hottie in a town miles away from the city...I know my husband is travelling with his hot cousin from the States for a funeral am not interested in attending.

Being naked also means I am broke honey; check the account for yourself. My partner is not the superman every lady thinks he is; he has weaknesses, he has infirmities and he has temper problems. He snores in his sleep and sometimes sleep walks. My wife looks horrible when she wakes up and she has not done her makeup. Your partner knows you intimately and you are not trying to hide anything.

Being naked with your partner is just like standing in the bathroom, behind closed doors; you look yourself in the mirror; hate or like who you are; cry or dance or laugh when you have the need to and just be yourself without any limitation. You do all that in the clear view of the person in the mirror – yourself. That is how you should open up to your partner.

Supposed smart people think it is limiting to be this open; well I think it is rather liberating. If your wife knew your cash flows, would she reasonably make demands in excess of what she knows you can afford? The evidence speaks for itself. She can always check; indeed she knows how the money was spent. Your wife would be asking for a Land cruiser when she has no access to your finance and always live under the illusion that you are the richest guy in town. In Fact don't we all know in this part of the world, people do kill their spouses for their money? Do you you want to die for wearing Gucci shirt and creating the impression you have 1,000,000.00 in your bank account? Let your wife know the Gucci shirt was bought on a six-month credit! Stark nakedness. No Misconceptions.

The very fact that you are both naked to each other sometimes speaks volumes and prevents you from explaining yourself all the time; why were you here, when you said you were going there? Because you called him to tell him about change of plan. How come your money is finished when you just got paid? She knows about the money you took from the bank to sort out the building. Who is that guy who came to drop you? He knows about John, the new guy in your office who also stays two streets away.

Being naked with your partner builds up trust; it communicates a lot because it reveals a lot. By the very nature of such revelations, we are mindful of everything we do because we are starkly aware we are under constant scrutiny...Uncomfortable as it may seem, it saves us a whole lot of subsequent troubles.

Someone said the difference between some of us and a thief is that, because the thief knows he will never be caught, he goes on to steal, whilst some of us, because we fear being caught, desist from stealing; but in an ultimate sense, we have all been faced with the temptation to steal one thing or the other in our lifetime. This is so true; we are more likely to resist certain temptations when we know we would be found out than we would if we knew we would not be found.

This very knowledge keeps us in constant check; our spending, our tendency to cheat, our lack of thoughtfulness and tact in our actions among others. People call it the 'culture of fear', I ask what is there to fear if you have nothing bad going on? A little dose of fear in fact is the right vaccine for the deadly virus called recklessness and it keeps us away from a lot of subsequent infections.

Did you know a lot more people would live righteously if God lived in their neighbourhood or Hell was visible from their rooftops? Did you know they would have done so without much effort?  We all have the capacity to do good and be naked in our dealings, but sometimes because we are under no obligation to be naked, and because being covered could afford us the pleasures of entertaining vice, we grow to prefer being covered.

It is restricting for sure and pretty uncomfortable, but that is when you are trying to be open and naked to the world. But is it too much of a task to be naked to the one you are sharing the rest of your life with? Really? Then don’t you think it defeats the purpose of gradual metamorphosis into oneness as pronounced by the first groom when his bride was presented to him by God?

We can all get there; it is attainable. I find it more straining and tasking when we lead shady, segmented and pass-worded life than when we lead a plain and open door life.

Some nakedness may be offensive to the one being exposed to it; it is human. Your wife will not give you a hi5 and pat you at your back for constantly walking around with a lady who is hitting on you – you told her yourself. You know you are not going to give in, and you can handle it. But the very thought that you are toying with such a dangerous thing can be very depressing to her. When you get bold to open up, first you might gain her trust or elicit her jealousy, but her response would make you sit up and be a lot more careful, as well as give you insight into her perception of the situation.  

Some partners are very possessive, abusive or opportunistic and would always use your openness to your disadvantage: My boss is hitting on me. Ok quit your job. My salary has been increased by 15% after I got promoted. Ok now you add this to your housekeeping responsibilities. Can I use your cell phone to make a call? Sure!...Honey who is Jane? I read her text in your inbox!  

Honey I want to come clean on something, I had an abortion before we married. What? Are you kidding me? I am leaving you! Why are you leaving me? We have had all our kids without complications! Besides, you never asked if I ever had an abortion. You asked if I was a virgin, I said I was not. Where did I lie or go wrong in this? But you should have told me. But I am telling you now. No, I mean then! Why? So you would have left me?

All these can really make a lot of people think twice when opening up. But then I ask, if you knew your partner was possessive, abusive or opportunistic why did you go all out to marry them? Ok you did not know that side of them before you married them. Fine. But if your partner is that bad and they take advantage of everything you come up with, then you can imagine what will happen if they find out you are hiding stuff from them.

I am not trying to paint a picture of us being weak and helpless and overly submissive to our partners, I am painting a picture of spousal mirroring. One person has to start and expect the other to follow suit; before the image in the mirror moves, you must move. But first it must be discussed and agreed on how it should go. If one personCONSTANTLY fails to honour their side of the deal then the other partner is left in a weak position to keep their part of the deal intact.

Partial nakedness can be worse off then complete secrecy. At what point do I tell the truth? How do I track the lies I told and continue, and how do I track the truth and continue. Soon you find that you cannot talk freely because every word coming out of your mouth is being overly processed to fit into what you have said earlier; that is head aching!

Kids tell lies, fools tell lies, and we all tell lies when caught on the spur of the moment. Grown ups and evil persons are deceitful. They think deeply about what they are saying, come up with potential questions and make potential answers ready; they are very systematic. They mingle lies in a maze of truth making it difficult to decipher and pretty embracing and dangerous. I would rather you were caught lying than you be caught as a deceitful person; but even better, be caught telling the truth.  

Openness must not be used as a tool to control, restrict or look down on the other person. Anyone who opens up to you and goes naked before you, places in you such trust and respect, and believe that the knowledge of their weaknesses and vulnerability, secrets and anything dear to them are safe with you. After all aren’t the burdens of life too heavy for one neck? Why make me cry for letting you help me carry them... Let respect their openness and encourage them to keep it up.

But in all of this, the bible says in Jeremiah 17:9-10 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.

There are some people, no matter what you do, will always do stuff behind you. However, they are not supposed to alter your perception of what is right and what is wrong. Do not go through life thinking someone is not being open or sincere with you so you are taking certain actions or steps to counter that. People presume their partners are hiding stuff; they go on to act in ways they think would square things up only to realise they have erred.

Let your heart be at peace for doing your best and leave Judgement to God. Let the cheating spouse continue in their evil and see their end. The Writer said, I have been young and now old, I have not seen a righteous man forsaken. God will always come with His reward no matter the cost.

I would not want to go through life looking over my shoulders and constantly arguing with myself and trying to justify why am doing stuff my partner is not aware of. I would love to live with  her as two people who have left our parents so to cleave to each other in order to become one flesh!

Now lets get some Alvaro drinks. I am freaking tasty! You guys save your questions. I have a bus to catch. I cannot afford to disappoint her.

Eeiiii? Massa? Who is that lucky lady?

Easy boys...easy....a panther has got a gazelle in sight 

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NOTE: Those of you reading this out of orientation, click on the links below to read from the start. The links have been arranged in descending order, with the topmost link being the first in the series.

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