AND ON THE 8TH DAY THE LORD CREATED THE FAMILY

Much as I wish I could come up with some nice preamble to introduce this very sticky issue I am as passionate about as many people are, I will not, indeed I cannot find it in me to be all cozy and sweet-talking about it.  

It is fundamentally wrong for any man or woman to put religious obligations ahead of the family. After God was done creating the earth and man, He felt companionship, intimacy and procreation was utmost and therefore authorized their creation.

I am not saying that after marriage people should neglect their service to God in favour of their spouses; what I am saying that your home must be in order before you run off to church for long progammes back to back. I am saying that you first feed the hungry in your house and clothe the destitute at home before you go giving fat offerings. Don't quote the prophet who had to eat the poor widow's food as a defense, because there was also the young man who ate sacred food in the temple so he does not die....and Jesus who healed on the Sabbath. There is a reason why your tithe is 10% of your income and not 80% and the Sabbath is just a Day not five days in a week. I am saying that feed your husband, make sure your wife is safe and warm before you go lifting up hypocritical hands before God. Settle your conflicts at home before you go out all smiles. 

God did not impose the family on you; you went to a man's house and pledged your willingness and ability to take care of his son or daughter in a reasonable and acceptable way after the likeness of a normal family. That was your decision. If you want to go all out for God fine, do it alone or get a man or woman who will walk step for step shoulder to shoulder with you. But then there are the kids; do you remember how Eli, who was the judge of Israel and the priest of God, raised deviant kids who dragged his name in the mud because of his neglect? 

The body of Christ is a lifestyle and service to Christ is not confined to the church building. Our primary service to God, our reasonable and acceptable service, is to and through mankind.... starting from our home and extending it to the community around us. Every now and then we come together to worship and break bread and share His word; but what defines us is the lives we lead thereafter, in the view of the world. 

Keep your eyes on the family young man and young woman. No matter how spiritual you become, you or your family won't be immune from the consequences of your neglect.

~PG Sebastian~ 

Copyrights 2013

All Rights Reserved 

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CLIMB ON!

The Higher you go, the lonelier it gets, the colder you feel and fewer your crowd becomes. The space up there is small so you cannot afford a lot of people around. You must cut some off and some will go off themselves. You will be left with those who see through your eyes and those who face the same direction as you. When you wake up one day and your friends are few and you feel all alone and cold; Be glad because you are up there.

It is not everyone who must sit with you in your glory. Every tree that bears not a fruit is cut off. In your hour of elevation some people will lose their ability to give taste to your life, cut them off. Do not live in the lie that old friends are the best. Are they? What about the old friends you used to steal with; Chase skirts with; Drink with; Nag with; 'Aimless' and 'lose' with; crawl with; fail with, break homes with, sugar daddy with? 

What happened when you told them you wanted to change your life and do something better with it? Did they follow you? Did they encourage you? So why let them suddenly show up with a litany of good times you had together and be a baggage now that you have broken through? Some of these friends you might have even planned your steps to a breakthrough with, but they laughed behind you and ridiculed you. Now that you have broken through they are all creeping around, not to ask you to teach them how you did it, but are now asking to be made part heirs to your throne. Do you remember the guy who left you because you wanted to put a stop to the sex, the morning after pill and the wanton abortion? So why is he creeping back now that your life is together and looking set for the highest place?

In your hour of glory, you cannot afford lose talkers, little minds and shortsighted people. You cannot pat pessimists at the back and hug draw-backers! Where I sit, if you are not pushing me up or coming along in the things that are precious to me, then we are at a T-junction...find your way out! ...That should be your new greeting to your friends! 

When you decide to marry, some friends must go; those who fundamentally think marriage is a waste of time, those who think any man or woman is a potential bed-mate, any man or woman who feel they cannot love or submit, any man or woman who feels marriage is nothing but any other contract. These people must go because they are everything that can guarantee you a ‘What-A-Shock’ or ‘Gone-Too-Soon’ Marriage.

When you decide to turn to God and serve him with all your heart, some friends must go. You cannot be in the midst of crawling ants and remove those that are crawling up your body. It is only wise that you first run to safety, stamping your feet violently till they drop off, then you remove those that are still holding on to your body with your hands. Sometimes the need for change, especially spiritual renewal, must make us feel like our very lives are on the line. How do intend to grow and become spiritually strong when you are still with people who did things that made you spiritually dead? Some people say they want to help their friends to change, noble as it may be, you first need learn to walk before you attempt to help someone. If you and your friends are moving together, that is fine, but if your friends are not willing to change then you cannot hang out with them. How do you do that? You meet them before or after prayer meetings? You meet them to drink, watch porn, talk about girls or boys, gossip, idle around and do all sorts of things, then you go for bible studies? And they will not even visit your church or allow you even to share a WORD with them. No. Cut them off.  

In the CEO office every seat is important, if you are of less worth you cannot be in there; sit with the secretary downstairs. Up there is for serious business. Three extra seats for people of his/her class. I don’t think you want the CEO of another company to sit outside with the secretary so you can have all the time in there with the CEO talking about nothing. If they decide to come down to you while you wait for them outside, he will; but don't think it is your right! 

At the top people play, golf, at the bottom you play wayside soccer! How many people did you say play golf? What about street soccer? You see even the games are well defining enough.

Don't waste your time. Salvation, breakthrough, family, health, success among others are individual affairs. Blessed are you if you have a crowd who move with you...if you do not, leave your lot behind and move on!

From now on, you need to deal with the excess baggage, God is sending you somewhere, let go off the past; those who want to come along have legs; let them run up and catch up. Shut your ears and don't pay attention to all the comments being passed; People who want to please everyone never get to focus on anything important and never achieve any goal set...you can ask the politicians.... People will slow you down till you miss your time and all they can say is ‘oooh it was not meant for you.’ But it’s a lie; thy made you miss it.

YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO BE A PART OF THE STATISTICS OF LIFE

Most of us live our lives as part of the world statistics. We are part of the nameless faceless numbers that make up the various issues the world is discussing. We are basely described in numbers and figures, graphs and charts. But I strongly feel with are born and exist for something greater; something far more glorious and important that we cannot be hidden in the pages nooks and cranes of numbers and the labyrinth of complex charts. 

We have names and we have faces; names and faces that must fill the corridors of our world with awe and reverence. 

Your name must not be part of the names; you should not be one of the thousands of tertiary educated graduates - employed or unemployed, belong to one of the families succumbing to social evolution, just a Christian; just a woman or man; a sick person or a healthy person. Today tell yourself that your days in the various queues of life are over and your life as part of life's statistics is ended.

No one should mention a name on a list in one breath, and in the next breath, mention yours and then move on. Your name must always make people pause a moment.

Today tell yourself, with utmost faith and strong conviction, that if a thousand graduates are applying for a single job position, you will be taken regardless of what others put on their CV. The bible says in the year of famine, Isaac planted and reaped a hundred fold [Gen 26:1-14]. 

Today if you are employed and promotion to the top seem like a mirage, look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that NEW POSITIONS would have to be created so you can occupy them; Someone ahead of you must resign or get another job offer elsewhere so their seats can be vacant for you.(don't pray for someone's dismissal though - smile)

Regardless of where you are hidden; whether in a Jail, like Joseph; or in the field, like David; or in wine-press, like Gideon; tell yourself when your crown is forged, it must only fit your head and no other head. When the prophet comes to anoint a king they must remember to call you regardless of how long they have forgotten about you. When a difficult task comes up they must remember the young man or woman who is the only one with the solution - YOU

No matter your family, Educational or Financial background [Judges 11 & 12 – the Story of Jephthah the son of a harlot and a Mighty man of valour who Judged Israel], tell yourself you cannot die UNCELEBRATED. You must be positively celebrated; you must be the first amongst the best.

When they are mentioning names and they get to yours they must pause. Regardless of which register your name appears in, it must be treated with respect, reverence and awe. Someone’s heart must miss a beat by the fact that they are privileged to mention your name and meet you.

In the midst of social decadent look upon your sleeping children and make positive declarations on their lives and tell yourself that even if the whole world goes blind your children will be the one-eyed kings.

In the midst of marital tumult tell yourself your marriage will work; your relationship will stand. God will always bring your man or woman home. No matter the temptation, no matter their weakness, no matter where you are failing, God will intervene for His name sake and save that which is heavy for your arms.

In the midst of strange incurable diseases; diseases that we don’t even know how they spread, your life would be spared; you and your loved ones.

When Car accidents are a common place you would be kept safe because God has got a legion of Angels specifically assigned to keep you in all your ways.

When strange weapons of the enemy are fashioned against you; thru people you suspect, those you don’t, forces from your family, your workplace, your house; forces physical and spiritual; forces named and unnamed; imaginable and unimaginable...Tell yourself God’s Spirit will lift up a standard against them.

Today refuse to be part of the statistics of life: (Please note the stats provided below are made up figures for the purpose of the write up)

75.4% of University Graduates  are unemployed...[you are in it]

Chances are that 90% of staff won’t be promoted within the next two years [you are in it]

60% of Ghanaians live under the poverty line [you are in it]

2,000 approx. people die in road accidents annually [ you are likely to be in it]

36% of all marriages contracted in 2009 did not last a year [you are in it]

Teenage vices and other socially deviant behaviours have shot up by 53% within the past  decade [your kids are in it]

NO WAY

75.4% of people are unemployed...[you are sending your CV this week and next week you are starting work]

Chances are that 90% of staff won’t be promoted within the next two years [We need to do something About (Put your name there) because we cannot afford to go a year further without promoting him/her – Management talking]

60% of Ghanaians live under the poverty line [you are not part of it]

2,000 approx. people die in road accidents annually [ You are going to stay outside that number for all times even though you all travel the same road]

36% of all marriages contracted in 2009 did not last a year [yours will last till death do you part]

Teenage vices and other socially deviant behaviours have shot up by 53% within the past  decade [ Your kids still listen, do not disrespectfully talk back at you, do not go picking fights,  are not into substance abuse nor pregnant at teenage....

Today see yourself uniquely, that is the only way your story will be unique. We have the breath of God in us therefore we exhibit  His nature. We have the power to declare things for them to stand, to plant or uproot what we so desire. Let us take a stand and say we are different. Let us say the laws of this world may apply to us but will not determine our ultimate fate.

This month, hmmm Ego bee k3k3

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God Bless Us

PG Sebastian

Copyrights 2010

All Rights Reserved 

BONDING 101

 Take interest in the things that interest your partner. It is the surest way to create a stronger bond, have a lot more things in common, meet most of their friends, gain their allegiance somehow and control some of the excesses they are likely to get entangled in if they did things alone, without you having to overtly attempt to do it. 

Taking interest in what interests your partner is like being in the same political party or supporting the same football team; you get to have a lot more things to talk about, a lot less issues to disagree on and a lot more mutual friends to hang out with. The more you hang out together the more you eliminate the petty things that generate fights. For instance, when my wife and I go out to the movies, she does not complain that I stayed out for long; I do not complain that I had to eat late. We are both part of the issue, we talk all the way home, eat whatever we can find and sleep with smiles. 

Your lack of interest in the things that interest your partner will not make them stop doing them; it will only make them find other people who share the same interests with them, spend more of their thoughts, feelings, desires, hopes and dreams with them. Most of the infidelity and snatchings we see occuring, occur between colleagues, social club members, 'area friends' and people who share distinctive interests like professions. 

[Consider two people with the same religious beliefs but of different spiritual intensity – one is a regular, the other is high-pitched spiritual. Even though both are religious, they are likely to fight over issues like all nights, praying out loud, speaking in tongues, using of anointing oil among others. Assuming they were both  either typical Anglicans or Fire brand Charismatic.]

You cannot stop your work and go work with your wife for sure, but maybe when she comes home and she is raving and ranting about her work, no matter how complicated the subject is, find it in your own interest to be engaging and ask questions that will make you learn. Do not engage in facial gimmicks and wave her out in your head, because sooner than you know, she will realize you are just pretending to be interested. She may then choose to be quiet on her job issues when she is home and talk to someone else who understands her. Sometimes my wife can talk for over 20 minutes about her work; All I do is listen and try not to forget. It is not an easy task, but I have decided to do it because when I also start raving and ranting...I expect her world to stop and revolve around mine...so let me do it for her. You cannot suddenly become a politician or a football fan, but these are the things He talks about and goes out for. Why not be interested so you can tag along when he is going out? That will make him share or talk to you when he is looking for someone to share a thought with or seek support from, it would be you and not some other die hard NPP lady or Man U supporter. 

 

I cannot give you all the different scenarios, but you and I know that most often than not, we do not show so much interest in what our partners do or what interests them. We turn on deaf ears when it comes to their interests. I am not talking about the mutual interests you may naturally have, I am talking about the things they are passionate about but we are not. The degree of ‘into-ness’ will to a good extent determine whether you two will be happy together or not, whether you will last or not, whether someone else will come in between you two or not. 

Your relationship or marriage is in serious trouble if the only time you actually laugh and have hearty chats with your partner is in the company of a Third Party.

You do not need to go shopping or to the salon with her, but if you have to do it once every month, go with her. See all the 'lungulungus and the corner-corner route to the place somewhere at Dansoman where the killer braids are done for her, it is no big deal. It makes her feel appreciated; you get to meet some of her friends who may never come visit her at home. You get to hear their stories; soon you become the other party in the complex ladies’ intrigue. “Oh George, you remember Aileen don’t you? That tall lady we met at the salon? Yea, her best friend said this and I said that and we met at this place and there was this lady….ok the next time we go the salon I will show you….” Soon you are part of their little chit chats….big family growing. 

I do not expect that you go golfing with him or even go to the gym with him, but if he is a sport or exercise freak, then you should know that with time, your body will be a source of tension at home. And if you have the kind of body my mum refers to as ‘a ball with hands and legs’, then sooner than you know, there could be that fit and firm bodied woman getting a lift/ride, and …as harmless as it may start…it can becomes something else. If you can make time to go with him, you will be the lady in the front seat. 

These are just a few of the many examples I could give or you can even come up with. They may not be true or applicable in your experience; but the reality exists that if you have a lot more of mutual interests, you bond better and feel a lot happier and friendlier with each other, reducing tension and fights as you equilibrate towards healthy friendship beyond your love relationship. 

Please our world is becoming cruel and things that distract us are a lot. Let us seek our own first. Keep that which is yours. A bird in hand is worth two in the forest. Treat your relationship as if it is the best thing that happened to you. 

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 Be happy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PG Sebastian

Copyrights 2013

All Rights Reserved

THE HOME, OUR SHARED RESPONSIBILITY

Let not a woman force a man, in the name of modernity, to go to the kitchen and let not a man insist that a woman supports him in paying the bills. If your man decides not to lift a finger to help you out in the kitchen, it is no excuse to starve him or sexually deny him. If your wife decides to spend all her money on herself, well its your duty as a man to still provide for the home and not make a fuss about it. 

However, as a sign of love, support and show of consideration, let a man help his wife in the home keeping duties when she is overwhelmed with same and other pressing needs like the kids and her own work. In the same vain, let the woman be discerning enough to know that the man cannot pay it all and foot it all; let her throw in her dime or pesewa in the family money box. 

Society has a name for a man who is always in the kitchen and woman whose husband is always in the kitchen while she watches Mexican soap. And they have a name for a man whose wife pays all the bills and a woman who pays all the bills while her hubby loiter around. 

The home is a shared and balanced responsibility; there are no airtight compartments and departments.

PG Sebastian

Copyright 2013

All rights Reversed   

MUCH FRETTING ABOUT NOTHING

My dear ladies, be strong and stop falling for the deception that there is some biological clock ticking somewhere in your body. Marriage or being with a man is not just about beating this haunting tic toc-king clock. 

Yes. There might be something like that. But then there is also someone somewhere...a lady who married a big loser who lied about who he truly was and trapped the woman. There is someone who has been married and for years is childless. There is someone who married and walked out overnight. There is someone who has given birth to a child with complicated medical condition. There is someone who will preside over countless miscarriages. A lady is crying because her husband is killing her with his constant nagging threat of divorce because he wants a boy child. There are women who are dying under funny circumstances in childbirth.

Can I continue? I am not glorifying any of these sad situations; but ask any of the ladies going through these if they had an iota of knowledge of the hard times ahead of them. Ask them if they would not have preferred being single than being married. In fact some prove it through divorces. 

Do you remember Sarah and the Hagar saga that put Uncle Abe in the middle? Maybe the course of world history would have been different but for the decision of a fretting woman. 

Relax. Seriously. I know how it feels like to be called another man's own. To carry his name.... aaaahh Mrs Odeneho Sikawofie Winful; To get out of your car, roll your car keys and brandish that ruby studded platinum ring. I know... I have seen the anxiety in the eyes of a 36-year old woman who is praying for a child. I have seen the cost running across the face of the earth looking for someone who can make the magic happen... But then marriage is not the solution. A man is not the solution. No man is a solution. Yes they may be the potential conduit God can use. But there are some good number of married women who are more lonely, destitute and miserable than singles. 

There are no guarantees. Do not push it and do not absorb the pressure. Shake it off. Don't settle for any man because you think he can take your shame away. Get busy while you wait. There is no shame in being single. Keep calm and keep your head screwed on well. Pray and don't lose your focus and objectivity. One day he will pop up and when he does, your age won't matter. 

And you men who are heckling and allowing your family members to do same to your wives, please be men enough to cover up for them. What were you thinking reciting those vows. I bet after a thorough investigation we might even find out you are the problem. 

It is not worth it really. Sometimes the wait can be the best moment of your life. Relish it. Don't fret it off. 

~ PG Sebastian~

POUR IN THE OIL AND THE WINE, BIND UP HER WOUNDS.

In the discussion Jesus had with a certain lawyer, about good neighborliness  Jesus picked a vague Character whose identity was shrouded in mystery and therefore referred to as a Certain Man.

This certain man was traveling from one place to another; it could have been for anything. He could have been any man going for something or responding to something; something that drew him to where he was going, or something that pushed him from where he was. Nonetheless, he was going out for a purpose.

It is told that along this journey, he fell among thieves who brutalized him and robbed him of his personal effects leaving him half dead in the middle of nowhere; hoping he would be dead by the time the next human shadow showed up.

As he laid there in the blistering heat, cleaving on to life with gripping tenacity, praying and struggling to hold on to it a little longer, keenly awake to his humiliation, bruises, brokenness  and nothingness, there came to pass a couple of people. As we know it, most did not stop. Not the priest, not the Levite. I am wondering what was going through his mind as these people stuck their noses in the air, set their faces straight and walked on. I am sure he felt more pain in his heart at the betrayal than the wounds he was reeling from.

But can you fault them; the people that walked away. They had their plans; it was nothing personal. They did not hate him; they were just too busy to be slowed down. Every minute they wasted on this man was at a cost to them; a cost they were not ready to incur. They were looking at the avalanche of inconvenience that a moment's pause was going to unleash on them. Who travels with a sick stranger? What if it was a trap? You attempt to help and suddenly people from nowhere spring up and rob you too. What if in your attempt to help, they become a burden; a burden you must take care of even after they are well and ok. It could even be that they were too lost in their own pressing thoughts they did not notice him.

Then, one man, who could have given any of these fair reasons, decided to do the abnormal; He stopped. He actually stopped to look at the injured man and had compassion on him. He got emotionally involved with him. He was aware of the time cost in attempting to cater for the injured man, but he was willing to pay it. It was going to throw him off his schedule because he was not just idling in the wilderness looking for wounded strangers to help. He was about some business of a sort. However, he felt that could wait; this was a pressing matter. He was willing to bear the cost.

He took the man and cleaned his wounds; his wounded pride, his torn emotions, his scarred psyche, his bruised ego. He cleaned him; cleaned him from all the dust of his fall, the pieces of stones that stuck in his flesh…stones that hurt with every turn, stones of abuse, rejection and shame. He cleaned up everything.

Then he poured in the wine….he poured in the wine to prevent the wounds from festering, he attempted to help prevent the degeneration of the wounds; sinking in of the insults and the abuse, acceptance of the fact that he was nothing and could be nothing. He was preventing the wounds from going deeper into his blood and mind and heart and make him see himself as what the robbers wanted him to see himself as; vulnerable, cheap, helpless, waste, incompetent, loser, good for using and dumping, good for nothing but one’s amusement. He was preventing the scars from becoming permanent…permanent fear of the dark, of men, of women, of getting pregnant again, of trusting again, of marriage, of believing in God again… he had to stop it from going further into the skin…these bodily injuries…

After he had washed his wounds with wine, he poured in the oil….he soothed his wounds, told him everything would be fine; hushed him up from crying or complaining. He did not allow him to ask, ‘why me?’. He only bound he wounds with the soothing oil. He made him feel cared for, loved cherished, wanted and alive again. He gave him hope that in the midst of human cruelty and abandonment there could be salvation; that nothing was lost.

At his own cost and trouble, this Samaritan took the afflicted man to an inn. There he had him sheltered until he was fully recovered. He did not see it as a ‘half and half’ effort. No. he took full responsibility of him. ‘Some’ was not enough, ‘everything’ was. The Samaritan wanted to be sure that the next time the injured man saw the sun, he would have forgotten about the pains of yesterday; the hurt, the brokenness, the dissipated dreams and promises, the disappointment and humiliation. He wanted him to wake up and forget his nightmare. He made sure it was done and it was on his account.

Life is full of challenges and tragedies. Everyone is in to get what they want; and for some people it is with force and brutality. They take what is yours by every means possible, leaving you naked, humiliated, shamed, and wounded in spirit and in heart, after which they leave you to die. The shocking part is your pastor may not be that interested in you beyond his tithe and offertory, and your family members may be too busy to be slowed by you and your problems. They don’t hate you, it is nothing personal, they are just going their way and you are also going to lie there and rot.

After life has battered your wife…your husband and left them to die, tell them….your wife…tell your husband...tell them you love them. Help them forget the abuse and humiliation they must suffer and the daily struggles they must go through in order to have and provide for the home. Pour in the wine and stop the festering of the wounds your wife bears…the daily humiliation, abuse and discrimination because she is a woman. Pour in the wine to close the broken flesh of your partner’s servitude, because they do not have all the requisite papers; academic qualifications or work permits, because they do not come from certain backgrounds, tribe or race.

Life can leave us with wounded pride, shattered dreams and crushed aspirations. And as we lie licking our wounds, our secret prayers are that our loved ones will not abandon us, look the other way or become so engrossed in something else that they suddenly do not care.

In the hour of need, when all that is left is anger, pain and bitterness, lost faith and broken confidence, it's up to us to pour in the wine, clean the wounds, prevent them from festering, stop the pain from becoming entrenched. Discourage them from being discouraged; stop them from stopping and giving up. Stop the rapid growth of bitterness, hopelessness and a sense of unworthiness. Then pour in the oil, to calm their fear, sooth their pain, show them a better perspective, comfort their hearts, encourage them, strengthen them, challenge them, reignite them. Pour in the oil and bind their wounds.

And when you are done, provide them with shelter; the shelter of your love, comfort, a sense of security, daily bouts of assurance, trust, support, presence, fidelity, faithfulness, care and charity. Shelter them spiritually, physically, emotionally and psychologically. Shelter them from your family members because she or he is not like your sisters or brothers. Shelter them from the heckling of the crows you call friends and employers. Shelter them.

Make sure that when they step out the following day to take on the battle of life, they would be so healed they would forget the scars of yesterday.

Yes, it would come at a cost to you; it will cost you your time, your money and your energy. Nevertheless, whatever you choose to be, the story talks of two classes of people, those who did not help and those who helped. Someone somehow in some way would help. No one will die where they are not destined to die.

As a man, you can be the Priest to your wife, pretend you do not see what she is going through and pray no Samaritan comes along. As a woman, you can be too busy, leave your husband broken, and hope there are no Samaritans coming his way. Alternatively, you can be that Samaritan man…or woman…and you can be pouring in your oil, binding their wounds, and bringing them to full recovery, at your cost.

It is up to you to choose where you want to stand in this picture. However, your husband is broken, humiliated, tired, robbed, wounded, offended and everything that can kill a man’s spirit has been thrown him. Choose to care for him, let him be your concern because a man who is embittered in one aspect of his life can cause pain to others in other aspects of his life. A man whose wounded pride and dignity is allowed to fester, becomes a bad business to meddle in. Pour in the wine and the oil, bind his wounds and make sure he does not go down under that weight.  Someone is telling your wife her promotion is contingent on getting into bed with her. Someone is making her feel useless because she is a woman, someone is denying her her rightful place because she is a woman and therefore vulnerable. Every day, out there for her, is a constant struggle. When she comes home with all the wounds and the dripping blood, you can look the other way and pretend you have not seen her or that it is a normal thing, and go about your duty; or you can take her in, help her take her mind off it, sooth her fears and nurse her to fullness overnight.

It is not easy on him that he cannot impregnate you; it is not easy on her that she cannot get pregnant. It is killing her; the miscarriages. His inability to provide all the fine things he sees around is killing him. He wished he were your dream man, she wished she were everything your star mum you are doted on was and more. If she could undo the humiliations she has suffered from her past relationships, she would. If he could manage the many betrayals he has suffered in the hands of women, he would. These are his wounds… her bruises….help them heal. Do not abandon them; do not punish them for what they may not have had a hand in. Do not leave them to their fate. Ease the burden on their minds and hearts and tell them it would be all right. Help them forget the pains of yesterday….because if you choose to be their Priest, God will bring their way a Samaritan.

~PG Sebastian~

Copyrights 2013

All Rights Reserved. 

NORMANDY: YOU MUST TAKE DOWN THE POST BEFORE YOU CAN TAKE FRANCE!

In the D-Day Allied Forces’ invasion of Normandy (1944 during WWII) it is believed that the average life span of an Allied Soldier in the Beaches of Normandy was less than one minute – meaning an Allied soldier was  likely to be killed in seconds of landing at the beach by German fire.   

 In one of the many battlefront stories, it is said that as the Allied forces fought their way through barrage after barrage of German artillery fire, aerial bombardment and landmines, they came to a small post manned by Germans…or probably just one German soldier. It was a very small post. And no matter what the group of Allied soldiers did, they could not dislodge the soldier or overran the post.  So a senior officer came around and asked them what the problem was. And they told him they were struggling to take the post.

The Officer was shocked! You guys have crossed the sea from all over the free Europe and the US to  take France and then the rest of Europe and you cannot take a simple post? He handpicked a few soldiers and took a couple of ammunition and stormed the building and took it down!

You see, the soldiers had been taught to fight in the open, taught how to charge and surge forward. They had been taught about many battle maneuvers, but they were not knowledgeable in Street, alley and house to house combat. They had ideas, but they did not have the hands-on experience or strategies to deal with fluid events as they unfolded before them. They had the general impression of taking France, but not the fine details that would make such a big picture complete.

The thought that hit me was this: are we knowledgeable in the big and general things but are lacking in the fine details….the little little things that will make it all count?

A father thinks that providing a house, a car, good education and holidays for the kids should suffice. The woman thinks that being fertile and able to give birth, support the family financially and being called a wedded wife is good enough. Christians think that going to church, giving offerings and working in the church or being part of a fellowship is all that God is looking for.

So one day the man wakes up and the woman who is supposed to be grateful to him for all that he has provided is nagging and complaining or cheating or asking for a divorce. The woman wakes up to an epiphany that despite all she has done for her husband and the kids, her husband is cheating, disrespecting her and trying to run her down with his ego, the size of China. So parents wake up and cannot believe why their kids did not turn out like all the other kids who went to the same school as theirs and had similar upbringings. So a Born-Again Christian cannot believe that in spite of all he does for God, he is still unemployed.  

It is time to realize that it is one thing knowing the bigger picture, doing the general things and going through the routines, and it is another filling in the details, taking heed to every possible scenario, attempting to look at your life in a step by step, holistic way and trying to find ways of dealing with life’s events as they unfold.

 It is time for men to realize that renting or buying a mighty house, carpeted with money and goodies is not enough to make a home; that is a hotel lifestyle. Home is where real human beings live, interacting with each other in real animated time; all senses involved. Home is where love buds and affection blooms and where people float on the sea of mutual respect and support.

It is time for women to realize that being called a mother is not everything; and supporting a man financially or sitting on top of the corporate ladder is not what makes a successful mother. What makes you such a mother or woman is to turn your house into a home, and knit all the lives that dwell therein together into a big synergetic whole. While the man provides the bigger stones to hold it fundamentally together, you bring in the finer grains that fill the holes and makes the whole thing compact and well bonded. How can you neglect your man and consign him to the care of another woman in the house or office? How can you get so tired with work that he must starve sexually for weeks unending? How can your phone be buzzing with calls and emails in the middle of intimate moments and you think it is the nature of the job? How can you make the children miss the touch of this whole business called MAMA business?

Maybe you need to get up and look for a job. Maybe you need to exercise a little bit of faith in your relationship with God. You pray and fast for days and yet at the slightest headache you run for Tylenol. You bind demons and claim you are in charge of the spiritual realm, yet a woman shows her cleavage and we have a bad case of puffing frontage of your trousers as blood race from your head down to unacceptable places in your being. Seriously? Oh you cannot help the juicy gossip, the little lies of convenience, the man who says he loves you so you do not care that he is leaving another woman for you for no reason except that you are prettier.

Alas, we all know the bigger picture… A man has to make his home materially comfortable and a woman has to be up and there…God bless Beijing! Children must get it as soon as they ask for it; it keeps the peace. Last time I checked, juvenile delinquency is as rife among poor kids as with rich kids; it is, however, very minimal among kids with constructive parental intervention in their growth and development. Yes Poor men have wives who leave them for rich men and rich men have wives who leave them still, but good husbands and fathers are far more likely to keep their wives and children; and the same goes for good wives and mothers. And by ‘Good’ I mean those who give their families the same serious attention they give to other areas of their lives (like their careers) if not more. Yes, unbelievers tend to run things and have more money even though they may not  appreciate the concept of tithe paying and organized religion; it is because they are honest in their day to day dealings, they are faithful with things in their care, they mind their own business and do not backbite. They respect boundaries and obey instructions. They give to help worthy causes and they know when to say thank you. Yes they may not go to Heaven, because they are not born again, but right here on this earth, they will be happier than you believers who are everything negative they are not. 

   

So as you go into the day do not just think of the exciting prospect of liberating France and Europe…the big grand picture. Look at the little little battles the sum total of which will win the war. The little battles you must fight at the very basic and individual level. Not the big things and show offs… but what really matters…the one post you must clear off the way in order to proceed. 

~PG Sebastian~  

Copyrights 2013

All Rights Reserved 

  

NORMANDY: ARE WE SHOOTING AT DUMMIES?

  

During the D-Day invasion of Europe, in 1944 (one of the major battle theaters being Normandy in France) The Allied Forces sort to take over Nazi occupied France in a brazen amphibious attack and use it as a basis to take over Nazi Occupied Europe. They realized the German fortifications would be difficult to penetrate without any form of diversion.

One of the diversions they used was dropping dummy storm troopers from planes and making them look like real troopers coming down to attack the German positions. The Germans kept their focus on these dummies, and subjected them to heavy artillery fire, ensuring that they did not land. While they were pulverizing the dummies, the real soldiers were landing in other places, some being killed by mines, German artillery fire, in bogs and all that. But the dummies proves useful in getting the Allied forces the diversion they needed to land in Normandy behind the Well Fortified and disciplined German lines. 

As I thought about this, I asked myself... Are we the Germans? Are Christians the Germans? Are families, the Germans? are we shooting at the dummies while the real enemy sneaks in and do damage to us from behind? Are we fighting the wrong people? Are our eyes and energy focused on the wrong issues? Are you fighting with your man or woman, instead of the friend whose advise is creating the rift in your family and relationship? Are you fighting your children's unruliness when you should be fighting your own work habits and lack of time and commitment to their needs and development? Are you fighting God when you are the one who aught to sit down and do some massive introspection? What dummies are we fighting while the real enemies sneak in? 

I understand that in the battle front, we shoot anything that moves and has the semblance of the enemy. But have you thought about it that the enemy could also be smart and create a diversion? Not all things that you hear about your partner may be true and not all happenings your see when they are around certain people could be intentional; remember, it could be deliberately projected to draw your attention and create a drama so that the real enemy would sneak in and do damage. I have heard of people who cheated or left their relationships/marriages because someone came to tell them their partners were cheating...Guess who they ended up with? The same people who came to gossip. I have seen parents literally cursing and washing their hands off their teenage kids because of their stubbornness, forgetting that these kids were raised by DSTv and Computer Games and Her Ladyship - Hannah Montana. 

Not all you see dropping is the enemy, save your bullets and look for the real enemy; do not panic and think of wiping the enemy out at all cost anytime they pop out... for starters, try and see if they are even real. 

~PG Sebastian~ 

(Inspired by Ravi Zacharias)

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BABY SUBMIT TO YOUR BOO; BOO BOO LOVE YOUR BABY... REGARDLESS!

Wives submit to your husbands. Husbands love your wives.

If you cannot submit to him, do not marry him. If you cannot love her do not marry her. It is that simple. There are no middle grounds. There will be a time in every marriage where your husband becomes a pain and very bossy. If you know you cannot take instructions from him over time, (Now that you are dating him) do not take it to the next level. There will be a time where she will provoke you and get into your skin so much so that all you feel, when you see her, is anger. If you cannot love her regardless, then do not marry her. 

Avoid settling down with a man or woman out of convenience or without deeper thought about the future. There are realities that are inevitable over time and some of them are the issues of love and submission. For now it is easier to do these things  because the relationship is still young and you are head over heels. But can you sustain it when the relationship becomes mature and real and the worse of each of you is up and out in the open? Can you keep submitting? Can you keep loving? Find someone who, you can bet, will not make it hard for you to submit as a woman, or someone who will not make it hard for you to love as a man....because somehow someday, you will be called to submit or love in the worse of days.

There are no buts and exceptions. To love or submit is a mental issue; if you tune your mind and keep your heart on the greater good, you can submit and love without seeing it as a burden.

Women, marry men you can submit to. Men, marry women you can always love.

~PG Sebastian~

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